maryhadalamb

Summer 2011

2011-06-29T11:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I took a bit of a blogging sabbatical, I was actually doing a poker related one over at bfp. Obviously that was shortlived! Poker blogs are pretty much universally as dull as ditch water, so I decided to resurrect this work; which is at least as good as stagnant pond sludge. Am not a great one for recaps but some of the memorable things over last 6 months or so were going skiing for first time, James has promised to organise another trip once he has finished solving the stockmarket/sportsbetting etc.

Have also taken up golf, which is far more frustrating than poker but is a good tonic to hours spent toiling in front of complex game theory equations. Have taken lessons, but after my round today I evidently need some more. Have invested in my own clubs so have been hacking around the fields at home to practice my swing.

Played live a bit, cashed 4th in the Palm Beach £1k for £9300, pretty unfamiliar with mtt poker having become a bit out of touch with the nuances due to primarily playing cash games for last few years. Still I felt pretty comfortable until stacks got shallower, but still didn't fancy doing a deal 4 handed so soldiered on... to 4th! Of course that's not what live poker's about, I've excelled myself donking around in the Torquay casino 1/2 PLO game and managed to rollover the limes from a steadily ebbing G&T tide ( ty new v.efficient waitress) into a centrepeice tumbler to cement my solid TAG image. Wasn't in an ideal state to explain to a Duty Supervisor why a lady was writing me a cheque at the table and she called me "obtuse". Also played UKIPT Newcastle, was good to catch up with Flash and James, sadly Ged's intestines objected to him coming and getting on it with us. Hopefully he'll make it up to Edinburgh.

Am heading back up to Edinburgh at the end of July so will be up there for the Fringe festival/UKIPT if I feel like subjecting myself to more torment. Hopefully the blog will settle down to the more familiar territory of espousing the benefits of Hamilton's breakfasts/Opal Lounge et al.

Oh yeh, and well done to Keys and Rupert for their big scores in Aussie Millions and EPT San Remo respectively.

FAO Summerlinpkr

2010-12-11T08:22:00.000-08:00

Download Circus from here:

http://banner.stanleycasinos.com/cgi-bin/redir.cgi?id=N&member=tpart&profile=tpart

use code tpart2 and i will ship you rooting $

Socks Away.

2010-12-02T07:22:00.000-08:00

The official Christmas giveaway. I soon tired of tidying room, thought I'd banish the boredom with a brief bout of benevolence. How many socks (mostly odd I hope) in this pile? Closest guess wins a bottle of port, bottle of bollinger if you get it on the nose.

December

2010-11-30T13:57:00.000-08:00

Decided to repeat the Poker Goal element of blog for December. However, I won't set the bar too high; I don't want cards to get in the way of drinking mulled wine and knocking back the port. 30k hands, no Skype, stop checking session results halfway through, 5 videos.

Am off to london next week as I have a seat in the Palm Beach Big Game, which is a £1k tournament in Mayfair that attracted 79 well-heeled punters last month. I've not been to the casino before, it's in a nice area, so I have high hopes of it being a good crowd, will no doubt dip my toe in the cash action after trying to bluff a donkamenteur off top pair. Kev is also coming down to play, so after a Porridge breakfast I'll probably accompany him around London for an early morning jog.

Poker Goals Revisited

2010-11-25T10:01:00.000-08:00

Well the last month hasn't been a total disaster, hence me posting a graph. I even managed to bink a donkament, admittedly there were only 30 runners!

In short I failed to meet any of the goals I set, however, I definitely think the very act of setting them and holding myself accountable has helped improve my results. After a diligent few weeks of 2/4 and 3/6 I decided to mix in some 5/10 and even a spot of 20/40 limit and 2000NL, the conditions justified it, I was confident and playing to the best of my ability. Results have been good, I've played pretty well, although part of the reason for taking a break until Dec1st is I've been playing a bit sloppily the last few days. The volume of hands I played could have been better, but when I was playing 5/10 I was happy just to 2 table and concentrate on not spewing! Reviewing hands with coach never happened, presume he's playing world of warcraft or something as he's been unreachable.

Will spend the rest of the month watching the Ashes and trying to squeeze some more poker videos in (the poker maths ones have been a tough chore). It's pretty cold here and the pump that powers the underfloor heating has packed up so have been spending most of time in sitting room playing by firelight. My sister passed her Chartered Surveying exams so props to her!

Alan's back, back again!

2010-11-08T08:11:00.000-08:00

I've spent 30 minutes on the phone to my pals at Halifax today, they were vigilant enough to block my card for a suspicious transaction to pokerstars.fr, not that suspicious in the context that I've use this card to finance casino withdrawals for playing 2/5. I'm glad they've got my back though...

On a brighter note, Alan Partridge is back! He's descended to new lows his "banter" is more cringe-worthy than ever, his clothes even more dated and his hair is well...you have to see it! Alan certainly hasn't become any more politically correct during his hiatus, he manages to crass remarks about the Jonestown massacre and paedophilia before segueing (first time ever used that word) into more inane nonsense. Sadly we don't actually get to see Anthea "The Body" Turner, although on a side note (segue number two) I do have her autograph as she stayed at my Aunt's B&B in the Spring of 1994.

I finished off "Enemy number one" I did enjoy it, although it was a little heavy on racing info for someone with more of a general gambling background. Veitch seemed to have been spurned into action after a local mobster tried to extort money from him and he decided to go to the police, resulting in years spent in hiding, looking over his shoulder whilst bashing the bookies. It was interesting that a great deal of effort went into him actually being able to get action on the races, as money associated with him was blacklisted by bookies, much more of an issue than I imagined it would be. Will move onto Ather's "Gambling: A Story of Triumph and Disaster" now.

More Apprentice Spoilers

2010-11-06T08:04:00.000-07:00

So it seems Lord Sugar reads my blog and actually made a decent decision for once, Paloma had to go. Watching "You're Fired" on BBC2 the past few weeks has been fairly interesting, both Melissa and Paloma came across really rather well, I presume this is because they can conceal their true nature in a 30 minute programme, rather than the original editing of the Apprentice was not as sympathetic as it could have been etc. Perhaps, these high powered business people can not actually cope under pressure as well as they think , it's all very well spouting business jargon until you're blue in the face, however, if you can't behave to even the low standard required to dupe the dopey Alan, perhaps you don't deserve the role.

One of the good new additions has been Dara O'Brien hosting "You're fired". He does a really good job and seems to allow the contestants to project themselves in a good light as well as leading the panellists, all making for an excellent show. I actually picked up his book at Smiths (paying is so overrated) alas, I have yet to start it. I've only just finished Steven Levitt's "SuperFreakonomics", a rather accessible guide to avant-garde analysis on topics such as global warming, prostitution and suicide bombers.

Yet another Amazon package arrived today, I had to replace my second Logitech mouse in under a year after yet again the usb receiver snapped inside my laptop. James recommended I went for a much simpler affair, I'm now rocking an old School Microsoft button clicking enabler. I also ordered some more books (paid for and all) including Mike Atherton's "Gambling: A Story of Triumph & Disaster". I read his autobiography "Opening Up" whilst at school, and seem to remember it was pretty good, so have high hopes of this. Also, added another Derren Brown book to my collection as well as "Enemy Number One". I'm sure he'll be a distant second by the time James decides he'll spend a week or two knocking up a comprehensive sports betting model in between building computers and getting on it.

Power Snooker

2010-11-01T16:31:00.001-07:00

I headed up to London on Saturday armed with on a couple of recently acquired paperbacks ( something more like a swordstick would have been more appropriate for wandering the Edgware road on my way to the Vic). I was already at the cutting edge, alongside Jambon, Dave Lu, Ed Rogers and his buddy Dave. We had all made it to the O2 arena to watch "POWERSNOOKER" which is marketed to be snooker's equivalent of 20/20 cricket, with glamorous girls, music, lights, audience participation and a plentiful supply of £4 pints. The standard was a little poorer than I expected, by that I mean standard of dress, Ali Carter wore an absolutely horrific lime green shirt that was an affront to even my colour blind vision.

The "shot clock" meant that players only had 20 seconds to take each stroke, however, they seemed to rush unduly, obviously unfamiliar with this format they seemed to put themselves under pressure to play way faster than they needed to and it must be said that the quality of play did suffer for this. Other facets of the game included the "Powerzone", which was the area behind the baulk line, potting from here would entitle you to double points. One of the 9 reds was also a "Powerball", upon being potted a two minute "Powerplay" would be instigated during which players scored double points. Points were all that counted, each game lasted 30 minutes, points counted, frames didn't.

The atmosphere was pretty good, much to the crowd's amusement referee Michaela Tabb would announce "Powerzone" every time the cueball returned to baulk, it did seem rather funny after a few pints, I think it was the Scottish accent. Audience participation amounted to cries of "Powerzone", mocking Jimmy White's errors, and a rather borderline cry of "You can do it" in a Chinese accent with definite overtones of Cockney to inspire Ding, he also was on the receiving end of a few Ding-Dong type puns. Unfortunately I had to leave early as the last train back to safety of Devon departed at 8pm, alas it was not to be thanks to my inept taxi driver. I sought refuge at the Vic, I was thrilled to learn that my allnighter was to be extended by an extra hour thanks to the changing of the clocks. Once I finally boarded the train at Paddington and rested my weary limbs I was trodden on twice by the "Professor" who had taken the seat opposite me on the table, she failed to apologise either time.

Was good to see Jambon and Dave again, the relaxed atmosphere meant it was possible to chat during the play. We also had dinner at Gaucho which was was rather good, I've only eaten at one once before and that was with James in Amsterdam. Oh, and Ronnie won btw.

Camerownage!

2010-10-27T12:15:00.000-07:00

Ed Miliband seems like he'll be a good challenge for Cameron. Particularly enjoyed this afternoon's exchange, EM threw some good jabs looking to expose splits in the coalition before landing a final blow at Clegg, mocking him for his smoking ( a reference to a recent "Desert Island Discs in which Clegg named a stash of ciggies as his luxury item.) However, Cameron had the benefit of being able to have the last word and crushed Miliband. Never mind trying to rid Parliament of "Punch & Judy politics" it's entertaining stuff, I bet it's great fun sat alongside your mates cheering and jeering. Watch from about 4.20 if you don't fancy the whole thing.

I wonder who will disgrace themselves on the apprentice tonight...

Poker Goals

2010-10-24T05:31:00.000-07:00

Decided I want to be playing 5/10 more regularly. I think atm I'm not playing my best there so have implemented a plan:

Poker Goals

I would like to compete with confidence @ 1knl on a regular basis.

In order to build this confidence I intend to prepare properly. I shall first watch and take notes on all eight episodes of “Mathematics of NLHE” before then completing “Professor Plotkin.” These videos will help improve my theoretical knowledge in situations. I shall also continue watching other videos, at least 4 game time type videos before moving up.

In addition to this video preparation I shall only play 5/10 when I have satisfied the video requirements, played a minimum 50k of hands @ 2/4 and 3/6, I shall achieve this by Dec1st. I shall avoid using any msn/skype whilst gaming- to be achieved by ensuring is not open when I start a session. I shall review, hands flagged in previous days play on a daily basis before starting play. I should post at least 10 hands on various forums before any 5/10. I will also revitalise btt forum. Trouble hands can be reviewed with coach.

I shall also have analysed the stats of at least 10 regular players and broken down their game and identified strategies to exploit them. In addition to this having a roll of $X+ before playing any 5/10 will bolster my confidence.

I know no-one signed up to read this drivel, infact no-one signed up at all, but were coerced into reading the blog! It's not a poker blog, more a place to have a good moan, Rupert linked me to this anonymous detractor of The Gutshot. I have no idea who wrote it, however, he loves a good moan, so it did amuse me. Seasoned vets may remember some of the posts I made in my youth regarding the place! This chap writes really well and with a great deal of passion!

http://www.pokerbastard.blogspot.com/

Egregious

2010-10-23T14:25:00.000-07:00

Stumbled across this word when reading the DC forums, if only I'd known it earlier in the week...It really would have been perfect for describing Paloma:

egregious formal adj outrageous; shockingly bad. egregiously adverb. egregiousnessnoun.
ETYMOLOGY: 16c: from Latin egregius standing out from the herd, from e out of + grex, gregisherd.

Shout out to Chamber online!

Not another link!

2010-10-22T08:46:00.000-07:00

It's grim up north, spare a though for poor old James:

http://hellocanuhearme.wordpress.com/

However, steps are being taken to improve matters somewhat.

Paloma/ HIGNFY

2010-10-21T13:55:00.000-07:00

I remember riling up Jambon back in my university days by omitting to post "APPRENTICE SPOILERS WITHIN".

I was thoroughly appalled but not all together surprised by Lord Sugar's (Sugar from here on in as there's no love lost) complete ignorance in the boardroom this week. It was perfectly obvious that even if Shibby did lack "business acumen", the two alongside him were quite patently completely unemployable, would be completely incompatible with his organisation and are undeserving of any post. Sugar should have thrown Paloma out when she referred to Shibby as " a joke" , before she had the chance to tell barefaced lies, denying that she stabbed the workshy Sandeesh in the back by discsussing her lack of activity with the rest of the team. Initially I presumed the decision was due to Sugar's incompetance at evaluating the contestants, however, in retrospect the evil Paloma did pull the wool over his eyes with her tirade of lies and personal abuse. I say bring back Margaret, Paloma's diabolical personality traits would have been spotted immediately by her. Karen's probably too used to dealing with footballers etc. to notice!

There seems to be a bit of a trend of contestants with any kind of moral compass falling by the wayside. Sugar was not even astute enough to avoid representing himself and company in a poor light by questioning the need for Shibby to pay compensation to the hotel's chef for failing to fulfill the order. No doubt Amstrad will lose a bit more credibility!

For supposedly bright candidates, the contestants are a complete shambles. Melissa, captained team Synergy this week. In spite of her ineptitude they managed a victory, the argument she had with Alex over GCSE results was particularly amusing. She's another one I'd lay super long odds on ever getting the job.

I've always considered Janet Street Porter to be highly irritating. However, I must say I was pleasantly surprised by her appearance on this weeks HIGNFY, her voice does not seem quite as piercingly shrill as before, perhaps I've aged and my eardrums are no longer subjected to the highest frequency squawks. Reginald D Hunter was a little quiet I felt, perhaps he tired himself out in Edinburgh.

I renewed my deucescracked membership today, so will probably make a token effort at watching a few videos in the dead time before the next episode of "World's Strictest Parents".

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/search?q=The%20World's%20Strictest%20Parents

Congratulations to Rupert who came second in Sunday's FTP $640 for a whopping $142k. He also nearly made the final table of the Poikerstars million but was chewed up and spat out by Andrew Litchenberger. For those of you not too au fait with online poker, that was an amusing pun pivoting on Andrew's online moniker being : "Lucky Chewy"

Ding Ding.

2010-10-16T08:57:00.000-07:00

So far have spent the weekend playing a tonne of poker, which has gone rather well. The games have been pretty good and I've been listening to the Annie Mac shows on Iplayer, as well as a great Harry Hill interview on the Scott Mill's show:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00v4slc/Scott_Mills_Friday_Harry_Hill/

Mongy won a tournament last night, no congratulations for that, but I will, however, tip my cap to you for this link:

Encore

2010-10-14T11:10:00.003-07:00

I felt obligated to update the blog before the mosquito induced scarring covering my ankles vanishes altoghether. Once Mr Ducharme ( a whole 8 months more mature than at our last meeting) made his way to the villa, the holiday was ready to begin in full swing.

Scott had a couple of memorable celebrations throughout the course of the month, the first of the double fistpumps occured after dinner in Ville franche. George missed a rather nondescript "blackball, corner pocket" shot which Rupert had a tidy wager riding upon, however, I'm sure he could appreciate the pleasure Mongy derived from this as he jubilantly waved his cue about, Rupert was later heard to say the joy on Scott's face was worth more to him than the money. After one sherbert too many, George was concerned that missing the black could be a metaphor for the rest of his life, the poor lad was worried about "bottling" the high pressure situations!

After a few days of settling in, a fellow Devonian came out to join us in the form of my schoolmate David. Despite now living in Geneva, David has retained a reassuring solid condascending stance on Europeans. We undertook some day trips whilst he was staying with us, including checking out the Villa Ephrussi de Rothschild. Strolling around the grounds was great, there were nine different themed gardens, all with their different nuances, the Provencal garden was particularly impressive. The afternoon was rounded off with a Kir Royale, which incidentally is the favourite drink of Torquay Casino's Bob.

After a few days David had picked up the lingo, (he's pretty sick like that) and was at ease with Ducharme wearing pyjamas in public, so was ready to hit Jimmy*z with us. Jimmy*z didn't disappoint, this institution has been "setting fire to the Riviera" for 30 years, I was distinctly aware that there seemed to be a lot more "brass" there this year, perhaps they were more concentrated with it being more off-season. Unperturbed, we soldiered on, making our way through the vodka and fresh apple whilst Rupert and David did their bit to promote Anglo-Russian relations. We made 3 Jimmy*z trips in total, they all seem to have blurred into one haze of cigarette smoke, vodka, and:

I do however, have distinct memories of everyone shining individually, the most incandescent example was Sweir. Upon leaving, Callum was trying to coax a rather dazed Ducharme into his car, Sam was quick to make the most of this opportunity and quickly donned the high visibility jacket that French law dictates should be in the back of every car. Whilst in Hong kong he sadly never made it into the Dragon Guard's van, he was able to sneak into Callum's Corsa and pretend to drive. The "bouncers", inverted commas because really I have no idea what you have to do to be asked to leave, perhaps ordering an alcopop or something, looked on this with great mirth, this was not, however, shared by Callum, who after he'd removed Steve's socks, raced around to retrieve his car keys.

I enjoyed a few evening at Nice casino, accompanied by Steve and Sam on different occassions. The 5/5 game there was really fun, and full of Russians, one blonde, who wore really low cut tops and translated to her husband who spoke no French or English, this made things difficult, as when the inevitable argument about who has to show hand first broke out he had to resort to shouting at the top of his voice in Russian. He was a good lad though, I saw him in Jimmy*z and he recommended we check out Nikki Beach, which hopefully we will in future. The floorman was a thoroughly nice guy, the whole experience of playing live there was thoroughly enjoyable. The game was soft, the atmosphere congenial, the rake exorbitant and the G&T's free.

I've left it a bit too long to feel like writing a more thorough report, but suffice to say the month flew by and thanks to Rupert for his organisational endeavours.

Rupert Guest Blog

2010-10-09T16:14:00.000-07:00

In typical Warwick fashion my blog is temporarily redundant since I can't login. No doubt this new wave of graduate bloggers has made them realise they should go back to charging for WGA membership.

Anyway, it's been bloody ages since I last blogged - partly because I was in France for a month, but mostly because i've been incredibly lazy.

France was its wonderful self with a glorious month of sun, Jimmy*z and downswinging. When all was said and done, I was relatively poor compared to the start of the holiday which made me very sad.

Nevertheless, since getting home I haven't let being drastically underrolled from stopping me playing an absurd volume of poker. It wouldn't be time for me to blog unless I won a tournament recently so you should note that after my 4th place in a $75, 1st in a $20r and 3rd in a $109 I am nothing less than a bona fide tournament genius. It wouldn't be bragging unless I mentioned that i'm up a bag at cash since getting home too.

It's all becoming a bit too much. After I got home I found myself with a delightful cold, sore throat, cough, sneezing fits, swollen tongue (????) all wrapped up in a two word diagnosis the doctor informs is as a "throat infection". My old mate from GCSE History Flemming is here to help me out though and i've been popping 8 penicillins a day like a recovering junkie. With great success too I may add, since I am practically cured and can now speak without sounding like a complete spastic.

As Tommo has granted me the privelege of blogging a guest post (due to aforementioned reasons) i'm humouring him at the possibility of moving up to Edinburgh with him. Availability of premises seem largely limited at the moment, mostly by not having an HMO license which apparently is the be all and end all these days when letting an apartment. Still, gives me something else to refresh in the morning.

Much to his disappointment, i'm going to allow Tommo to complete the France trip report because he's doing a fantastic job, and also I can't be arsed.

Rupert

Les Vacances- Part I

2010-10-03T11:51:00.000-07:00

My adventure began with a trip up to Norwich for the annual Alan Partridge Convention, handily enough it was held at the airport hotel, which made it pretty convenient for Rupert to collect me and the break to begin. Despite getting off to a somewhat melancholic start (the Alan Partridge tie and blazer badge packs sold out before I could get one) Bury St. Edmunds proved the perfect tonic. Home to notables such as Peter Charalmbos, James Keys and Rupert, it's a picturesque English market town that has a solid reputation for producing beer, housing the Greene King brewery. We ambled about the town, managed to squeeze in a pint in "The Nutshell" reputedly Britain's smallest pub:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nutshell

Buoyed up with Dutch courage I managed to negotiate a discount on a blue pinstriped jacket I'd seen earlier in the day. The previous tailor had stated he may be able to throw in a pair of socks for free, however, I managed to cajoule the manager into knocking off a few guineas. I stayed the night at Rupert's house before we left and kept an eye on Koopa, Rupert has a tendency to neglect him, he clearly needs handling every hour to check whether he is asleep etc...

After we finally managed to overtake mongy, who, was once again plodding along in the middle lane, we arrived first at the port but were soon met by the Brighton Boys, Scott and Callum. After a fairly uneventful crossing, we arranged to meet at the Chateau which we were staying at to break our journey up. Rupert and I managed to circumvent the debris littering the road, alas George was not so fortunate, they endured a few hours of garage related pigeon english as they decided how best to replace two of G's wheels. Meanwhile, Rupert and I kicked back with a few G&T's at the Chateau, rowed around the moat before picking up a couple of cases of champage from the production outlet nearby. The chap who gave the tour of the premises and explained the manufacturing process did so entirely in French, however, Rupert and I purloined an English middle aged balla who was on his way back to St Tropez with his son to translate for us. Picked up a couple of cases and a Magnum.

When the boys arrived we all tucked into the restaurant’s tasting Menu which was very good. We also got involved with some vintage port which went down rather better than out request for Port Salut cheese, the waiter huffily informed us that this was “Supermarket cheese” and stormed off to go and peel some more onions. We set off for Villefranche the following morning in jolly spirits.

Once again the tortoise triumphed, with Rupert’s mighty Almera beating the Scooby to the finishing line. We were greeted by the housekeepers, Elektra and her husband Victor. What an eccentric couple they were, well we’ve not had our deposit back yet, and after last years farce I’d better move swiftly on before I tell of racist jibes, violent outbursts, death threats etc.

The Villa itself comprised of two self contained unit. Initially I thought that this would lead to a rather more segregated affair than last year, however, this didn’t really prove to be the case as the group was more divided upon ideological principles, such as how awful “Two jacks in the hole” is, rather than by domestic constraints. We all set up our computers downstairs in the living room eager to shoot for loot for the coming month. We were soon joined by Steven, regular readers may recall him from my Australian tales.

To be continued...

Hellocanuhearme

2010-09-19T19:12:00.000-07:00

Will be bashing out a blog soon, in the meantime I'd recommend you check out James's page here:

http://hellocanuhearme.wordpress.com/

If he learns capital letters, he might just be the best...

September

2010-09-02T00:58:00.000-07:00

New month, flying up to meet Rupert later and will be on way to the Villa in south of France via a jaunt around Champagne tomorrow. Quite a lot to endure really, will be rely on Roy Jones Jnr to keep me motivated to get some hands in.

Some change would do me good.

2010-08-31T09:46:00.000-07:00

I've always loved saving up coins ever since being a child. I cracked into my treasure chest a while ago, I started the task of counting up the loot recently ( I thought I'd lost my wallet, alas it was hiding under my monte trousers), I'll probably just scramble it all up and superglue the box shut again for a few years or until I have enough to afford to buy a Hamilton's breakfast for every day of the year.

I didn't mention in my last blog one of the most surreal experiences I've ever had. On the way back from a cheeky pint at the "St Vincent" a tramp approached me and asked me to help him fetch a cushion from the bin, "it's amazing what some people throw away". In return for my assistance he treated me to a 15 minute discourse on the importance of different dietary supplements. He had an article published in "The Scotsman" in 1988 apparently. Drinking and smoking is a no no, cleanse your system with some seaweed and be sure to take regular supplemets of korean ginseng. My offer of a bottle of tequila was given short shrift, Organic Jim had to see his acupuncturist tomorrow... Fish head soup was the order of the day. I gave him a score, all the unopened pokerstars clothing from Monaco, Rupert's sleeping bag, and one of the numerous pillows that littered my room. He seemed especially pleased with the stars Hoodie. As I bid him adieu, he gave me his email address, I expected Dom Jolly to roll around the corner.

Last of the summer whines.

2010-08-28T12:36:00.000-07:00

August saw my return to Edinburgh, the tenancy of my flat was drawing to a close and Flash had booked a load of stuff for me to go and see at the Fringe. Saw some pretty big names in the world of comedy, Jimmy Carr, John Bishop, A famous Scot etc, it was all pretty good, however, I'm not really convinced that someone standing on a stage and spewing out a routine written by someone else is intrinsically funny. The format of them all was pretty puerile too, lots of swearing, comments on the audience etc, seems like there is a checklist of stuff to do. I'm pretty convinced that with the help of a few good lads, the odd pint of ale, Hamilton's steak sandwich and parsnip chips (with mayonnaise for dipping) and a spare week or two I could write something of a similar standard.

Having said this, there were some performers who rose above this arch-mediocrity, Reginald D Hunter was very solid and I enjoyed his show despite coughing all the way through and sitting in an auditorium akin to an oven. Paul Merton and his improv chums are the type of act that I would class as genuinely funny, off the cuff humour combined with banter amongst themselves made for a memorable afternoon. Jimmy Carr did have some good material, his delivery was also pretty sharp, however, there was still some "filler" within the hour which means whilst he gets a mention on the blog he's not top echelon.

I saw two magicians, Paul Zennon and a chap whose name T.G will have to remind me of. Both turned in good, solid performances and their shows rated as the best value for money available at the festival, running the £6.50 steak baguette into a close second. Zennon's wit was particularly sharp, I thought it was a shame that there were not more people there, incidentally David Lu, if you read this, you still have my copy of Paul Zennon's "100 ways to win a tenner!" The magic stuff may not be everyones cup of tea, but there was a fair bit of comedy involved, AN Other did some great pun based gags that were suitably awful to be pretty hilarious.

The highlight of the fringe was something a little bit different. It took the form of "Ivan Brackenbury" a mock hospital radio DJ with an unfortunate talent for sticking his foot in his mouth and playing the most inappropriate of tracks. I'm not sure youtube really does him justice, so keep reading the blog, he's sure to be making an appearance at my next flat party!

I also went and saw Ardal O'Hanlan as the Irish contingent had a spare ticket. As an aside, I had a plate of chilli and rice before this, seemed like a rare enough occurence to make it into the blog. Suffice to say Ardal was "grand" and I'd rate his comedy as amongst some of the best I saw.

The worst, well...Anything Australian was totally dire, absolutely atrocious, one particular perpetrator was "Brendan Burns" I put his name in inverted commas as despite being an Ozzie I doubt anyone would be brazen enough to put their real name to this farcical debacle. It was £15 or so too, which was a total rip-off, I wanted to walk out after 3 minutes, but Rupert had tied my shoelaces together and challenged me to enter a Tommy Angelo state of trance. I saw a couple of Australians so actually am in a privileged position to advice that Australians are categorically not funny, as well as having no manners. Cheers to TG for booking all the tickets and organising everything.

There were some other big names in Edinburgh during August, namely Keith "The Camel" Hawkins and Neil Channing, for those unaware of why Keith was dubbed the Camel, sometimes he can go days without a drink. The boys all came up too, Sam and Laurie, George, James, Rupert, Rick and Kev a Scottish guy I battle with on Ipoker. The tournament was resoundingly unsuccessful, I did manage to turn in a good bowling perfomance though, so got the lot in side action.

I'd taken the liberty of booking a few tables at Opal. The night went pretty swimmingly with Rick introducing us all to an absolutely fantastic pun based game, which was absolutely marvellous.

Sample hand:

Game 31232342

Tommo is on the G&T with 23823

James is on the B52s with 26352

James posts: Do you have a business

Tommo posts: Yes I have a business

James probes: What business?

Tommo: I own a blowjob bar in Bangkok

James: How's business

Tommo: On it's knees.

Game 31232342 is won by Rick Beech.

This made for great entertainment, plenty of options, from the obviously booming explosive business to the more tangential ones (Anything Kev suggested!)

I flew back to Devon on Wednesday which meant an end to my time in 2F2 Clarence St. Had a great time whilst I was there, which probably wasn't frequently enough, but being on own all day did suck more than I'd imagined it would. Got on well with all the housemates and enjoyed living with people who had proper jobs and were responsible enough never to take sick days despite me constantly telling them that 12 days a year is average!

I was up early on Thursday as I was off to Lords for a few days. Day 1 is pissed down and there was only 12 overs of play. Alarmingly there was no bitter on tap in some of the pubs surrounding St Johns wood, after being served cold, bottled beer I had to move onto the G&Ts. Day 2 was great, not only did KP get a golden duck, but true lads Stuart Broad and Trotty made hundreds, showed some guts, applied themselves and dug England out of a pretty big hole. Lily Allen was in attendance, sadly our paths did not collide, however, our opening bowler and skipper did nearly knock her over whilst carrying his pizza express slices at her head level, F**k you very,very much. The train back was packed, luckily our treasurer had secured us table seats, the annual chase the ace game stakes were eventually bumped up to £2,having started at 10p, notes were in danger of being broken into!

WSOP 2010

2010-05-28T06:16:00.000-07:00

The World Series begins today with the $50k 8 game event, it's not a big event for me, I do have a 0.5% interest in Joe Serock though. Tomorrow things will get into full swing with Event number 3, a $1k. I've taken a good chunk of action in the Series events, fingers crossed it works out well for me, it won't be disastrous if everyone bombs, but it will definitely be frustrating. I'll have to make sure am not too busy railing the events to focus on grinding online myself.

I'm not especially pleased with how I've played this month. I've made an ok profit, but have definitely been turning in way too many sub par sessions, which are definitely hampering me from realising as much profit as I'm capable of. I don't generally blog about my own poker, however, I think listing a few Aims for now onwards will be helpful:

1) No Msn/Skype web browsing whilst playing. Have pretty much completely neglected this obvious maxim recently, it should be easier when people are away in Vegas etc.

2) Quality Time. Endeavour to use playing time efficiently by ensuring am playing an optimal amount of tables and not just playing for sake of it. Play A game and improve focus/concentration, should enable me to develop some reads rather than just relying on HUD.

3) Reviews. Something I've always struggled with, actively working on game away from table. Daily reviews of hands flagged up in previous days play seem to be a good place to start and will hopefully ease me into getting in a routine of doing this. Continue watching videos, ensure take notes on concepts.

4) Less refreshing: Be it pokernews, checking up on the horses, Holdem Manager to check profit mid session (something have noticed myself doing way too frequently lately) or 2p2 to check the staking forum, all these things are detracting from my game.

Will be interesting to see how I get on, I definitely owe it to myself to make a good effort. Poker's so potentially lucrative I shudder to think how much this carelessness is, or could cost me in terms of missed profit/not moving up etc. Of course there's no-one there to tell me to strive to uphold these aims so I'll need considerable discipline.

Am enjoying watching "Luther" on the BBC at the moment, apparently the lead was in "The Wire", but don't let that put you off! The premise is different to other detective dramas in that the viewer is shown who the murderer is in the opening scenes, however, the tension is ratcheted up by the character of the nihilistic Alice Morgan, a former child genius who murdered her parents. Luther has been unable to convict her as of yet...

Respite

2010-05-18T10:00:00.000-07:00

Since the last blog I've had several staking sweats. Wazz, who was mentioned in the previous blog finished up 4th in EPT SanRemo boosting my coffers to the tune of around £15k. Then on to EPT Monte Carlo, this was a tale of broken dreams really, Rupert and I had pieces of two people 2nd and 3rd in the Main Event with 11 left, with a first prize of 1.7M euro. We joked about how awful it would be if neither of the lads made the final. This prophecy realised itself, at the time the 5 figure payday seemed rather paltry, but it was better than a poke in the eye with a dirty stick I suppose. The 15 euro G&Ts in the hotel bar did not taste as sweet as they could have.

Since then have had another chap bubble a major final table, this time WPT Paris, c'est la vie. I've got a good chunk of money riding on Vegas stakes, so I could manage to drop a load of money out there without having to endure the unbearable heat, terrible people and general misery. I won't definitely rule out a visit, but am keen to continue getting in solid volume online and keeping the wolf from the door.

Am currently recuperating back in Devon having felt rather exhausted by all the travelling around I've done recently. Such was my reluctance to avoid expending too much effort I decided not to play the Pokerstars event in Nottingham which I'd won a seat for a few days previously. I'll try and update a little more frequently as trying to recap a month at a time is pretty hopeless. I've also signed up for twitter today as "bombtheturn" so I can snoop on all the nags.

XXV

2010-04-20T12:42:00.000-07:00

Well it's been some time since my last update, I haven't been putting a great deal of volume in online, something which I will rectify after my Monte Carlo trip. I have, however, been playing live poker, with has been lucrative enough to keep me rolled for Hamilton's breakfasts.

This weekend threw a bit of a shindig for my 25th. Unfortunately Mongy and Rick were unable to make it up due to the volcanic ash issue. However, Rupert and I did raise a "vodka and fresh apple juice" glass to toast them both. Sorted out a magician to come to the house party, he was pretty sick, but his game selection was a little off when he tried to outsmart James, he should have probably stuck to pawning noobs rather than looking to pick off the most inebriated. A bagpiper rounded off the house party with a rousing rendition of some Scottish nonsense, am sure the neighbours appreciated it anyway.

It was then off to Opal Lounge. Hired out some tables, worked pretty well, had never been in such a big group and done this before. It was certainly worth it though, more people to throw ice at etc. The evening went pretty smoothly, Al ordered a load of B52s to wash down the other booze, good lad.

Thanks to all those who came up, a special mention for Rupert who not only endured the indignity of public transport, but was also forced to sit next to the toilet for 4 hours. At least he had his pokerstars luggage for comfort. I have 5% of someone deep in EPT San Remo so fingers crossed he can close better than Saunders and Mercier ;)

Selling EPT action

2010-03-24T12:40:00.001-07:00

Back in Edinburgh now, had a few good nights out with James, Flash and housemate Claire and caught up with Andy tonight over a few pints at local boozer.

For those of you feeling the pinch from the budget, snap up the value in my EPT thread. Can reserve pieces if I know you w/o sending quite yet.

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/163/staking-selling-shares/msnl-reg-baltic-festival-winner-ept-monte-carlo-action-743340/

When I TID will be fun time in Jimmyz.

Also am making tentative birthday plans, so keep 16/17th of April free. Will probably try and sort something at Opal Lounge where Grandmaster Flash will be making a Premier performance of the soon to be classic "Opal Lounging".

PRAHA

2010-03-18T14:57:00.000-07:00

Nope it's not a Prahlad Friedman themed entry espousing the merits of overbetting rivers...I'm off to Prague tomorrow with the Warwick Poker Soc and esteemed former members such as Rupert. Avid readers may recall Steven, who stayed with us in Australia, he was the chap disappointed to be described thus: "Steven managed to make us all feel rather mature and responsible". He was also supposed to be joining us, meeting me at Bristol airport, however, it transpires he has lost his passport.

It feels like the night before the start of a new term at school, full of anticipation, I've got several upcoming trips, after Prague will be checking out Dubrovnich with Rupert, George and James, then Monte Carlo for the EPT, followed by a bit of lashing for a stag weekend. I have been packing my belongings up and wondering how my Mum how has managed to lose all my pairs of socks in the wash. I also discovered my external hard drive in the bottom of my cupboard and took a rest from working my fingers to the bone to enjoy a spot of Alan Partridge. It truly is a timeless classic. I'll be returning to Edinburgh from Prague, it will be good to catch up with the flatmates and James, who is making his way up from London.

Had a little bit of an upswing at poker, my Ipoker contact seem determined to thwart it though, offering me the chance to play in a £10k minimum buy in 48 hour cash game. I mustered up the discipline to decline.

House of cards

2010-03-12T13:28:00.000-08:00

Has been some decent TV on this week. The BBC had a couple of programmes focusing on unemployment. Celebraties such as Meg Matthews, Archie Mitchell from Eastenders, A Parker-Bowles IT Girl and Irish gardner Diarmund, all went to live with an out of work person/family. I thought all parties came out smelling of roses, the celebraties were portrayed in a pretty positive light and the plight of those suffering from long-term unemployment was also sympathetically highlighted.

"My Big Fat Gypsy" wedding was a rather more lighthearted Channel 4 documentary, focusing, as you may expect on traveler's nuptials. In their world most of the girls seem to get married at 16, with a huge, ridiculously oversized dress being a great status symbol. The larger the better, with many of the dresses weighing more than the brides and causing permanent scaring to the hips. It also transpired that the location of the reception must be kept secret, as if the venue get wind of it being a gypsy wedding they will cancel the occasion for fear of violent debauchery!

Poker has been pretty dismal, may take a few days off to watch some videos and regain a positive mindset. Am off to Prague on the Warwick Poker Soc trip next weekend which should be good fun.

Elsewhere, this caught Rupert's eye, we saw it being constructed in Macau, and is now finished.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8559882.stm

Miscellaneous

2010-03-08T14:13:00.000-08:00

Didn't really feel like playing a lot today. The msnl games weren't great so I mixed in some 1/2, results were poor, but there we go. I punted another share selection, picking up some "Mouchel Group", the mutter from the gutter is that it will bid up and there is decent upswing potential and a limited downside. Props to Robbie: http://thenakedtrader.co.uk/ A decent read if you have any interest in this type of thing.

In between "Doctors" and "Neighbours" I also managed to help a new horse set up hand history imports into Holdem manager and configure table selection software. Later I took a look over another guy's Holdem Manager stats and gave him a few pointers on what he can do to help improve his game a bit. Hopefully I won't turn him into a complete spewmonkey! Anyone looking for staking should take a look at my 2p2 thread: http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/135/staking/full-time-msnl-players-seeks-horses-fun-times-frolics-614357/

Finally, Congratulations to James "The Market Maker" Saunders who finished 3rd in the March £330 competition at Simon Trumper's "Dusk Til Dawn". A terrific score to open up his Hendon mob database account with.

One Week in...

2010-03-07T11:41:00.000-08:00

Managed to get a good amount of hands in, however, week ended badly when I jumped into a ridiculously soft 5knl game and managed to lose a stack, relieving myself of the majority of my week's profits. Elsewhere in poker, my horses are making good progress and James Saunders is making a deep run in the DTD £300 (http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?topic=47063.0). Good Luck JDizzle. Was a little disappointing to drop that stack today, it's hard to figure the balance between taking shots in juicy games and trying to mantain sanity as well as ensuring that I don't feel need to take a day off or something ludicrous.

I enjoyed seeing "Question Time" this week, Boris and Carol Vorderman were both guests. Carol gave a lovely character assassination of Lord Mandelson whilst Boris kept me amused by expressing his displeasure with terms like "rhubarb" and "absolute codswallop". Serial HIGNFY guest Will Self also featured, he was rather tiresome at first, before eventually making some decent points. I was curious about his background so looked him up on wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Will_Self), discovering that he was a former heroin addict.

Pinch, punch.

2010-03-01T07:36:00.001-08:00

Still feeling under the weather, however, need to get back into grinding spirit. I therefore aim to play 60k hands on ipoker this month. The bonuses will be significant and I should be able to beat the 2/4 and 3/6 games for a decent clip if all goes to plan.

No trips or distractions this month, although I'll have to make my way back up to Edinburgh at some point. Once there I think I may get a 30" monitor to facilitate the grind. If I don't fail spectacularly may even put a graph up at the end of the month.

I took the plunge and created my own internet share dealing account. Picked up Microfocus and PVCS, ones to watch out for. Will be keeping an eye on them between clicking buttons. Once again may decide to keep track of the profit/loss on here.

In other gambling related matters I've taken on a couple more horses. Both seem reliable and have a good work ethic, so hopefully it will work out successful for all parties. Check out the forum where we discuss hands: http://bombtheturn.freeforums.org/

Not the illest...

2010-02-22T14:46:00.000-08:00

Am feeling somewhat better, although am still being plagued by a rather irritating cough. To distract my self from this have just embarked upon a Rosetta Stone French course, hopefully will be able to ask for directions to the yachting club by the summer.

Have installed Google Analytics, so I can now see how many people view the blog. Prize of the same amount in $'s for anyone who guesses the number of "hits" received yesterday. Voting closes on Thursday.

Covalescing

2010-02-20T01:53:00.000-08:00

Have been feeling pretty awful since my return. Appears I've contracted a cough/cold. However, think I'm over the worst of it now. Am intending on working my way through my Jonathan Creek Dvds, learning some scrabble words, watching bluefire poker videos and investigating shares. My advisory broker has been treating me like a bit of a mug and I'm fed up of paying vig on every purchase/sell. Hopefully Mr Keys will inform me of his picks soon...

Also am looking to trade some ftp money for stars ~10k, let me know if you are interested, smaller chunks acceptable too.

That's a wrap.

2010-02-16T14:37:00.002-08:00

Now I'm back on Devonian soil and my blog homepage has purged itself of Chinese symbols it seems appropriate to cobble together a series of observations/remarks from the past 5 weeks and try and pass them off as a blog post. I'll probably spin it out into a two parter.

As all the lovies know, it's always good to start by thanking a few people. Rupert did a grand job of organising the whole trip, and Sweir's local knowledge and Uni friends made for a great time in Hong Kong. I think that's a syccophantic as I want to get, although special thanks must also go to Mongy for ensuring that we never got lost, and keeping the rowdier elements of the group in check with a stoic head shake and "Boys, boys boys" combination!

Whilst initially we found Australians to be rather impolite and not great company, we were lucky enough to meet Rupert's father's colleague, Shane, who reversed the damage done by his compatriots. The trip along the Great Ocean drive was undoubtedly one of the highlights of the holiday, the 7% homebrew and farmweigh caps certainly added to the ambience.

More comical moments from Australia included Rupert's $100 steak dinner being interrupted by some muggins from England calling him up and trying to offer him a job. Amused me as we credit card rouletted the bill. A separate dining experience involved Toby Lewis demolishing a plate of ribs, I really think it could go down as performance art, the blood/sweat/juice emulsion around his face, smeared by the odd arbitrary wipe of a napkin truly was a sight to behold.

Every trip organised by Rupert has a soundtrack, this year Andy Tokyo had to yeild supremacy to Lady Gaga, although there was some consistency, with "Black eyed Peas" retaining their position as a firm favourite., "Bad Romance" became somewhat of an anthem, although Rupert's experience of rooming with Keys gave him leeway evaluate the pros and cons of "Tonight's going to be a good night". Other chit chat included a homage to Neil Channing and "marvellous", references to Dizzee rascal's "S'up darling" whilst"Nobody, nobody but you (ad nauseam)" was reserved for serenading taxi drivers. Keys and Rupert also exchanged some really good "Office" related quotes, it's been ages since I've seen it and I definitely think I should reacquaint myself with this masterpiece soon.

The cabbies we experienced have earnt a paragraph of their own. Our Australian experience drew to a close with outrather animated Indian chap shouting at the top of his voice "This is F***ing Bullshit man" as we declined his ride to the airport due to him lacking enough space for our luggage. As a whole, the Aussie cab drivers were all Indian, they seemed to be much less integrated into soceity than in Britain, barely bothering to talk to clients and generally just being rather introverted/disinterested. There was an exception though, who was very good value and was chatting to us about Indian culture/religion etc, so it was good to finally get some interaction going. Lily Allen later informed us that there's actually a pretty big problem with racial tension in Australia, which we were all unaware of before visiting. They have coined the term "curry bashing" to describe it, incidentally we later managed to convince some American girls in Hong Kong, that this was a national sport in Australia.

In Hong Kong the drivers were all together more animated. On discovering we were English they would invariably start gabbling "David Beckham" whilst smiling broadly, all except the driver who seemed to have a penchant for shouting "Harry Potter" before bursting into fits of uncontrollable laughter. Mongy's sign language skills were not wasted, as he managed to coax one chap to "drift" around corners and roundabouts, the car wasn't rear wheel drive, so the handbrake was utilised, it was certainly an experience being sat in the back after a few beers for that trip.

On the first day in Hong Kong we saw a film about the "Number one witty Asian Gambler" which was Cantonese but with English subtitles. It seemed like a bit of a laugh, will probably try and find a copy from somewhere...Whilst the gamblers in Macau were of course predominantly Asian, wittiiness did not seem to be a trait that they were endowed with an abundance of, needless to say, we still managed to drop a load of cash there. Rupert, however, chopped a tournament, which was mainly notable for a rather witty, affable Asian chap. He informed Rupert that he should be referred to as Master Wong, we all enjoyed shouting that from the rail; nearly as much as we enjoyed his fistpumps, interjected by an apology to the guy he eliminated, followed by a cursory celebratory bang of the table. Master Wong, we salute you.

2010-02-16T14:37:00.001-08:00

Obligatory Guest Post

2010-02-04T13:37:00.000-08:00

Well since i've been exiled to Tommos room I felt it only appropriate to post on his blog. The night out at Fevar in Kowloon was absolutely fantasitc, with both Sweir and his bird starting on different people. I thought i'd have to do a Ross Kemp and roll out when it all kicks off but the phrase became more appropriate as I dragged my mattress across the Langham Place hallway at 5:30am in order to get half a fucking nights sleep as an American bird slept comfortably in my 5* bed. Marvellous.

Nevertheless, Tommy Angelos advice is fantastic in this situation as just like a solid 8 hour traffic jam I remain calm and unemotional and reminisce over the classic Black Eyed Peas tune TONIGHTS GONNA BE A GOOD NIGHT which at this point is beyond ironic. Matters weren't helped in the joint when Mongy disappeared, I took a piss, Julia had gone to the bar leaving the awkward 3s a crowd of Sweir, Laurie, and Tommo getting drinks poured over them and Tommo left out in the open as the remaining couple attempted to eat each others face.

Fucking brilliant. Anyway, off to Macau tomorrow for a few days to hopefully do my absolute bollocks on baccarat and that game I do for a living allegedly ALTHOUGH PERHAPS NOT ACCORDING TO YANKIEDOODLE before returning to HK for a calm couple of days and 12 hours of football manager on the plane.

Yours lovingly,

Rupert

Australian Highlights.

2010-01-31T02:53:00.000-08:00

The two tallest members of the group (Keys and Mongy) had some good sparring, Keys was brazen enough to mock the famed "Mongy GPS" and incredulous to discover Scott thought that Ivanhoe was an Australian state. Mongy was on form for the trip and is now a converted Lily Allen aficionado, rumour has it he's going to do a happy hardcore remix.

Rupert's forte, aside from organising the next holiday, was chatting to the taxi drivers. The pick of the bunch was when discovering that one particular chap had come over for work, was, "well it's better than walking in a call centre I suppose."

Steven managed to make us all feel rather mature and responsible as he indulged in night after night of baccarat session. Also jeered at Andy Murray with me whilst watching the final of Australian Open.

Sweir had a deep run in the 6max, although showed his real prowess at aiding Rupert with taxi driver baiting. "Is this a vomit shield?" followed by a mock demonstration was particularly memorable.

Not to be left out I had a few exchanges. After being pilloried with Tony Cascarino as a "Pommie" I commented, "Well I wouldn't want to ever steal a pot boys, you never know where you may get deported to" Tony Hachem seemed to enjoy that one. One particular mug (sunglasses/headphones etc) in the 6max was rather irate at me for looking at his chipstack:

Rolf: "Fuck you, eyeballing my stack".

Me: "I'll have to get a pair of sunglasses like you, so you can't see where I'm looking"

Rolf: "You should, you can probably afford them"

Me: "Not sure I can to be honest, am still saving up for a pair of those swish headphones"

Dealer Interjects...

Afternote: Poor little Steven was whining at being called immature, I guess he'll grow out of this phase, it is a little wearing. Apologies Steven I didn't mean to be condescending-that means patronising (it's when you talk down to people) ref Jimmy Carr. In fairness though his extensive knowledge of pirogies, snow cones, tiramisu, 5bet jamming ranges belies his modest years.

Game, set and Hats.

2010-01-28T03:25:00.000-08:00

We headed to "The Rod Laver Arena" today in order to watch the tennis. It was once again ridiculously hot, we were all rather concerned that we may melt into our chairs. The first match started worrying as Serena Williams completely ran over Li Na for the first couple of games and it appeared that a bloodbath was on that cards...(On that tangent we sneaked out and checked up on Key's progress to find he had busted in the money) Na fought back and this led to a great match which Williams won 7/6 7/6. Henin destroyed another Chinese girl 6/1 6/0 in the next match.

Hadn't had a gambling fix all day so flipped Rupert for who had to purchase the other a Aussie Open hat. I lost the flip, I couldn't moan too much though as we were later heckled by Keys and Steven who were loitering in the VIP area. Keys did a good job of putting a brave face on losing 600ks worth of showdowns having been an overwhelming favourite on each occasion. We had a quick drink and a band entertained Mongy's request for an Oasis tune, then home for a BBQ.

Our Time is Running Out...

2010-01-27T07:10:00.000-08:00

Headed to "Big Day Out" on Tuesday, it's a music festival which tours around Australia. Despite having to endure the toilets, thanfully it was a one day event so no camping was involved. Our expectations weren't especially high, another morose taxi driver deflated us by failing to let us provoke any response from him. At least the one we had tonight had the decency to pretend to be on his phone so he could ignore us.

Kasabian did little to instill confidence, they were dire. However, cometh the hour cometh the man. "A black man, purple man, martian man" would have done, Dizee rascal was more than equal to the task. Even cynics like us were waving our hands around and getting involved with the chants. We were then treated to Lily Allen, supposedly recovering from a bout of gastric interitus. She demurely informed to throbbing crowd "I've been shitting myself all week". The fiesty star managed to make a good portion of the audience "Smile" when she flashed her chest, all contextual of course. Poor lily is pretty cut up over her love life, no doubt is Jack Powell's fault. Seemed like she was pretty coked up, seems par for the course, "everyone's at it"

Muse were next, they were really great, the atmosphere was brilliant. They didn't really need to interact as much with the audience as the other performers, quite frankly they didn't need to, everyone appreciated them doing what they do best; banging out tune after tune. The lighting display was amazing, multi-coloured lasers scything through the night sky. A picture of us all below, with me sporting my freshly pilfered DC Tshirt:

Keys, keys, Keys.

2010-01-23T05:16:00.000-08:00

Had a new arrival in the appartment today, a Canadian chap called Stephen. Seems like a good guy, didn't moan about jetlag despite his commute, so should fit in well. I was grinding cash last night at the Crown it went pretty well. I was sat next to Tony Cascarino, so was obviously already starstruck when who should wander over but Neil Channing. To my delight he uttered an ironic "marvelous" in one of his tales.

I slept in today whilst the others headed to a Kickball game organised by Tony Dunst. Upon waking I called mongy, it's a testament to Bond's hospitality that Scott told me they were in a flat number that did not exist... The other boys were looking a bit pale, thankfully I chanced upon them leaving the building whilst loitering outside.

After eventually managing to ascertain the room number I headed up to see Mongy. Bond's joint was pretty swish with panoramic views across the city. My camera work didn't really do them justice:

After a rather weak, nondescript Victoria Bitter(It's not even an ale but a larger),LuckyChewy and KingDan arrived and we headed to a Japanese style restaurant. Rupert called just in time to rescue me from the pork dumpling starter, they were locked out of the apartment and not really in any fit state to get back into town. Shame really, am sure everyone would have been impressed by my chop stick prowess and extensive noodling knowledge. I did the noble thing, made my apologies and taxied back. N.B Trying to get any banter out of people in tertiary jobs is like trying to get blood out of a stone, obviously doesn't stop us trying though much to Mongy's displeasure and Sweir's delight.

Props to Sweir for making it all the way to the front door, Rupert only made it as far as the sofa in reception to get his 40 winks!

ElRupert busts 1st level of Cinnamon Challenge.

2010-01-19T03:50:00.000-08:00

It's been a quiet day. Keys' work ethic continued to impress us, he resolved to grind single table sats at the Crown, and made it to the train station before changing his mind. Sweir lazed around in a pair of ridiculous shorts that Rupert was incredulous to discover had been purchased in the UK. Mongy recommenced his love affair with stts, and I've managed to go the whole day without a nap. Rupert livened things up by accepting the cinnamon challenge. Whilst waiting for the video to upload FTP have introduced new "Rush Poker" tables, looks like a gimmick also quite young, stay away imo!

Time to Plunder, down under...

2010-01-18T21:53:00.000-08:00

I took the train down to London and stayed with James in soho. It appears the credit crunch has hit the area hard as the local dealers were trying to push weed rather than powder. Seemed to be a lot of people looking for "Charlie" though, no idea if they tracked him down. Met up with Mongy who was vocalising with some black fundamental Christians outside the tube station and helping them spread the Gospel.

The flights were not as bad as expected. I was planning on watching some poker videos, taking notes etc, however there wasn't that much space so had to rely on G&Ts for entertainment; until the tonic ran out that was...

Upon arrival we took a taxi to the appartment. The driver had a thick Russian accent, despite claiming to have lived here for 47 years. It took him less than 20 seconds to ask us if we wanted to go to a brothel. After having politely declined we arrived at the appartment. It suits us pretty well, it's around 20 minutes from the nearby train station to reach Melbourne City centre and from there not even the laziest of poker players could justify taking a taxi to the nearby Crown. Uploaded a snap of the view from the balcony.

Have played two donkaments so far. The $1100 was probably as soft as the $1.5ks at WSOP, it's a bit frustrating not to get the gold when the standard is so poor. Am here for a while though so fingers crossed for a nice score. Have been grinding online a bit with decent results which keeps morale up.

Went out for drinks last night and played some drinking games, it transpires that Rupert is unbelievably awful at "The Name Game" but is a complete Nazi on the implementation of International Drinking Rules. Met a couple of girls from Leamington Spa, some may say it's a small world, although it doesn't fell like it after the flights!

Happy New Year.

2010-01-01T06:07:00.000-08:00

2009 went pretty swimmingly, I made it through the whole year without having a single curry or Chinese meal forced upon me. Highlights of the year were the trip to French Riviera and assorted Jimmyz outings. I passed my driving test too, which enabled me to make my way to Torquay casino. Poker wasn't bad either...

New Year's Eve consisted of the Edinburgh Street Party, Rupert, Gwen and JD all came up for the soiree. The event was hyped up and lived up to expectations, i.e getting ridiculously cold whilst being shunted from pillar to post by the marauding masses. Luckily we ventured to the pub afterwards and were treated to an attractive 30 something blonde dancing on the tables. Despite the Landlord admitting to being so drunk he couldn't remember a drinks order consisting of 5 beverages he had the presence of mind to bang on a striptease track The blonde duly obliged, although was soon dragged off by her husband.

Hope to work a lot harder on my poker game this year. Financially the cards have been lucrative, and whilst my game has improved I realise I can't rest on my laurels. Should start doing some more exercise too...Am also going to start keeping a spreadsheet to keep track of my spending, should at least enable me to analyse a few leaks, even if I do nothing to plug them!

Reverse freerolls,

2009-11-30T04:02:00.000-08:00

Not updated in a while, quite a lot has gone on...If I wrote for the Times I'd be getting a quid a word, as I'm not it may be somewhat briefer. Poker wise I've played 3 times live and despite barreling off a £1k pot the first hand I sat down at the £1/2 live game have made £2700. The game is pretty fun, full of Italians with Scottish accents. The game is strictly run by the dealer Alec, who always seems to fear anything controversial happening so enforces rules like "cards on their backs" when both players are all in. I amuse myself by turning over bluffs with such a flourish that the dealer and other players struggle to match my hand to board cards.

The week started with me undertaking a complete reverse freeroll. My flatmate Claire had gone on holiday to Cuba and left her car parked on yellow lines. I was tasked with moving it before 8.00 am. Type of spot were there's very little potential for anything good to happen, people just assume you're a competent human if you complete the task, but on the flip side there is ample opportunity for all manner of disasters. Anyway, I managed to set aside the memories of pranging the biggest whale in Torquay Casino's Jeep, and completed the manoeuvre with aplomb.

Mr Grundy came up to visit last weekend and treated myself Camilla and Flash to dinner at a Tapas restaurant. Much appreciated, many thanks. Was a good evening, included some interesting conversation about personality types and discussion on the Meyers-Briggs categories (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meyers-briggs) Does amaze me how I can still win at poker despite lacking the mathematical, rational background most other winners seem to have in this thread (http://www.deucescracked.com/forums/4-General-Discussion/13460-Myers-Briggs-Personality-). Camilla is doing a masters in philosophy and issued some game theory teasers, luckily Messrs. Grundy answered them fairly easily before I had much of a chance to demonstrate my ineptitude!

Bumbled through the week until Thursday when Flash and myself went along to "battle of the bands" with Camilla and her housemate Catherine. First impressions of the event were not good, and I feared for my eardrums. However, after a few jugs of some tropical cocktail that was on special offer it became a little more palatable, although failing to bink a single prize in the raffle was somewhat sobering. Was a decent event, although the compare was pretty irritating and swore way too much.

On Friday, we made our way for a meal at nearby Hamilton's before heading on to a new bar called "Raconteur". As some of you may know, that the screenname on stars of Richard Gryko, however, whilst there were no portable dvd players and Dawson's Creek episodes in view, there were a couple of Antipodean barmen wearing braces. Thebar seemed nice enough, was converted from seedy boozer that people dealt crack out of, so I guess it couldn't have got that much worse. They were pretty welcoming, especially when Andy's girlfriend and 15 of her Irish dentist mates desended on the bar. The barman treated Andy to a complimentary G&T as he told us we were just the sort of young, professional crowd they wanted. A couple of hours and broken glasses later though they seemed less convinced as they asked us to keep the volume down several times. All in all it was a good night.

Details of my self-induced lockdown over the weekend to be published shortly...

Edinburgh

2009-11-20T06:11:00.000-08:00

Arrived up here last week on the flight from Amsterdam, no real inflight antics this time as my G&T roll had been somewhat depleted by dubious plays in the cash games. Was actually glad to get a bit of kip on the flight without having to worry about Flash launching into a rage over my snoring and battering me with a pillow. Obviously things never run that smoothly and I had to buy a new ticket at Dam airport as my original one had been cancelled due to me being on a different outbound flight.

Upon arrival made my annual trip to a barbers and treated myself to a haircut and shave. I never really intended on growing a beard in the first place, but lacked the motivation to bother shaving. We also visited the golf shop where I picked up a rather fetching lime greem puma sweater, definite old school roots, and topped it off with a traditional cap. Preparations for the "Golf Pros and Tennis Ho's" party were now complete after the preparation of copius amounts of Pimms, G&T and welcome B52 shots.

The party got into full swing, with several neighbours visiting to join in the revelry. The table tennis table we picked up seemed to go down a storm , although we never managed to get any beer pong going. Judging by the quantity of vomit on the doorstep of the communal entrance to the block of flats some people went a bit overboard, perhaps they didn't realise the Pimms was spiced up with additional Gin or maybe it was the Tequila shots. Oh well, live and learn...

James had to catch a flight around midday so after a hearty Scottish breakfast at nearby Hamiltons we bade him farewell and tidied up the flat. Since then have aqcuainted myself with the live poker scene up here, there's a 1/2 uncapped BI game with a min sitdown of £400 and rumours of a £5/5 pl game, should allow me to put haggis on the table at least.

Amsterdamage limitation...

2009-11-11T11:32:00.000-08:00

Am currently staying with Flash at chez Saunders in Amsterdam. Having never been before it's been a bit of an eye-opener, haven't seen as many bicycles since Oxford. Thankfully, most are equipped with bells, which enables the riders to alert you to their presence and for the big black drug dealers to attract your attention and offer you coke.

Just so happens that the Amsterdam Classics is currently running, have seen plenty of familiar faces, ran into the Boatman brothers in Dam Square, they seemed happy to have lasted 3 levels in the Main Event. Tufat is still in and rocking a 70k stack at500/1k. Have played some cash games, getting there in a ~5k pot has alleviated the subsequent losses incurred by my foray into the 10/20 game.

Was also dragged along to a floatarium, which involved lying in a tank of salty water in the pitch black for 45 minutes. I busted in the first level, managing to swallow the water, temporarily blind myself with the salt water and twist my shoulder muscles whilst writhing around in agony. Spent the other 40 minutes attempting to get a bit of kip on the floor. This was followed by a massage from some foriegn looking bloke, wasn't especially relaxing, spent most of it wondering if I was going to get "whacked".

Intending on hitting the Van Gogh museum tomorrow. Flying to Edinburgh on Saturday with James and Flash for our houseparty. If anyone wants to come along get in contact. It's promising to be distinctly above average, the theme is "golf pros. and tennis ho's" and we are anticipating an ace event with plenty of vodka and deuce.

Excess and extravagance in Estonia

2009-11-05T13:01:00.000-08:00

I ended up winning the tournament after having done business heads up with James Keys (http://skolsuper.blogspot.com/). In summary I never really had any especially hard decisions or interesting hands throughout the whole tournament. I only took one beat, and won the chips back on a flip a couple of hands later anyway. I picked up some hands, often picking up pots without showdown. I was pretty happy with how I played, I didn't fall foul of ill-advised cold 4bets etc! I was informed that a couple of calls I made or contemplated against shorties were a bit loose, so this is something to work on.

The final table itself was an absolute bloodbath, Keys was just smashing it to pieces and was on my direct left.. It was a weird situation as the other guys didn't want to allow him to run them over, I felt perhaps they were over compensating and it seemed kind of inevitable he would bust them up. Therefore, it made my decision to play a fairly tight, solid game and coast to the final 3 pretty easy. I found it hard to quantify the strength of the field in terms of ability, I knew they were making definite errors in terms of stuff like hand selection and betsizing but am not sure what kind of edge this translates into. I felt pretty comfortable throughout, although I did have to deal with Lodden on my immediate left on Day 1, and Eastgate 2 to my left deep in the tournament.

I was lucky enough to get heads up with James and run really hot. We did some business and he'll be coming to the Bahamas with me... He played really well whilst I was at his table and definitely seemed to have quite a presence (people moaning about him raising loads etc) Afterwards I had to do a load of interviews and photos etc. Was a shame that the interviewer's first language was not English, as it meant there were limited opportunties to induce much banter. Props to the cardplayer reporter, for being really laid back and polite whilst everyone else bustled about.

It wouldn't have been a stars event without the mandatory part. What a party it was too, free bar, comp'd Dom Perignon etc. The venue was pretty awesome and there were a load of familiar faces from the tournament in the form of staff and players, have never shaken so many hands.

Decided it would only be right to buy the whole plane a G&T on the trip back, but the cheapskate airline only had 25, which suited Keys and Rupert who lost the prop bet on which row the last drink would be consumed and ended up footing the bill. Mongy looked on with a wry smile and the ubiquitous, disapproving headshake; but was soon back in his element behind the wheel and "popping" his car all the way home.

Estonia.

2009-10-30T13:34:00.000-07:00

I was pleased enough to arrive in Estonia safely and financially solvent, I somehow avoided doing the lot playing Chinese on the plane with mongy, Keys and Rupert. The hotel lives up to expectations and the staff are all friendly and polite.

Out cultural outing was thwarted by the bracing Baltic wind. We sheltered in various souvenir shops and the more frivolous amongst us splurged out on matryoshka dolls. It's not especially cheap here, but I held my own in the cash games and haven't had too many expenses

Am currently sat 3/17 in the Main Event, played with Lodden, flatted his 3bet with AA in postion...Easy Game really, can read about the Thater hand on the stars blog, also managed to get Eastgate to pay off a checkraise on the river to complete my name-dropping escapade.

Interview here: http://www.pokerstars.tv/movies/7ZH/keys-leads-the-field-after-day-2.html

Question Time

2009-10-24T02:10:00.001-07:00

Some important issues were raised on "Question Time" this week, yet I was unable to reach a decision on the most important issue. Does Nick Griffin look more like a tired owl or a pork pie? Show was a bit of a farce (like you Andrew Meyers) as it consisted mainly of people moaning rather than examining policy. Thanks to JD for the picture, for those of you that don't know he's currently doing a technical drawing course in Amsterdam.

I picked up a PLO horse on 2+2 this week and am hoping to get some 100NL players to grind it out! Have created a forum here :http://bombtheturn.freeforums.org/ which any readers are more than welcome to join.

XXV-6m

2009-10-18T13:59:00.000-07:00

I realised that tomorrow I will be 25 in 6 months tomorrow. I've been toying around with my poker game and decided I'd set some goals until Christmas, then thought well, I'll break them before then anyway, so why not make a 6 month plan.

The plan is to play 100k hands of 400nl by Christmas (no higher). I'm mixing my game up a bit postflop and want to make sure that the fundamentals remain solid(ish)! After this is done I shall put in another 150k hands by my birthday in mid April. It will be a challenge as I'll be in Australia in the New Year and may have won the lot betting on the tennis by then.

Was considering giving updates on the quest on the blog, but it seems evem more mundane than the normal tripe. Seems like a good way to hold myself semi-accountable though. As well as putting in the volume, I definitely want to improve my handreading.

If I achieve this goal I should book a decent profit and will buy myself a ballin' out of control watch. Not sure purse strings will stretch to this, but reach for the stars etc!

Ice Cream Scoop!

2009-10-15T08:58:00.001-07:00

Besides giving me the opportunity to make a great pun, Alize "ice cream" Cornet's 4-6, 5-7 loss just scooped me $435, as her opponent did not win by more than 5 games.. Should keep me in 99's for a while!

Simon says "Ship the Gold"

2009-10-15T05:38:00.000-07:00

Gilles Simon came through in straight sets 6/4,6/3. Didn't even get a third set sweat, not that one was expected! Profit of $504.

Punted $478 on Alize "ice cream" Cornet vs. Agnieszska Radwanska at +5 games on the spreads.

Cat doesn't make it...

2009-10-14T13:17:00.001-07:00

On the way back from DC game last night, coming through Haldon Forest, I managed to run over a feral cat, twice. Admittedly the second time was deliberately to make sure it was totally dead. As it happened had a shovel in the back of the landrover, (plenty of problems buried in that forest, 'nuff said) I scooped it onto the side of the road in case the Gypsy community across the road had any use for it.

Recently listened to Channing on the 2p2 podcast, would definitely recommend it. Suitably inspired to make some headway in sports betting degeneracy I have $800 on Gilles Simon to beat Berdych tonight.

This week I have been mostly...

2009-10-12T05:11:00.000-07:00

1. Forgetting rules of hi-lo poker variant. Costly. DC game was moved from casino to private location, got lost obviously.

2. ^ Drawing blood from the beneficiary by hurling an icecube across the balcony at Bohemia and hitting him in forehead.

3. Been drinking G&T.

4. Binking free trip to Estonia. Free in most liberal sense of word, will probs end up blowing a load..

5. Contemplating how to get myself and my possessions to Edinburgh.

6. Coveting nanonoko's greatness/volume/dedication etc.

http://www.pokertableratings.com/stars-player-search/nanonoko

Mercier Beacoup.

2009-10-03T03:38:00.001-07:00

Headed up to them Empire on Thursday to watch the final table of WSOPE. met up with Rupert and George, fuelled ourselves up on G&T and shouted "Go on Jase" and discussed the merits of Jason's sunglasses. Went for dinner in a nearby Italian, and dodged 4 of my cards on credit card roulette, one of peachy's horses, Evan, ended up footing the bill after Eric had convinced him there was no point in buying out.

Mercier ended up coming 4th for £267k, which meant a nice payday for me! Ended up heading to Pokerstars party at "Cafe Paris" and indulged in the free bar. At some point, befuddled with drink, George gave his wallet to a Big Issue seller, the guy had the nerve to turn his nose up at G's I-Phone due to the cracked screen.

Rupert and I eventually met him back at the Empire and bumped into Mercier again, who was completely smashed, George and I polished off his half eaten chicken sandwiches before he retired to the press area for a sleep. I caught the train back from Paddington at 5.27, slept for some of the day and had an early night. Woke at 3am this morning and am already up 16 buy-ins...

The Weekend

2009-09-28T05:30:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately last week I overfilled the landrover with oil, the experts at pub tell me this is serious business, the black smoke billowing from the exhaust would certainly support this hypothesis. It's now being given a service.

Phoned "Raz" the taxi driver from Torquay casino to come and pick me up. He was rather happy to, as earlier in the week he ran his £4 up to £80 flipping coins against me, despite me having negotiated a 3:4 payout scale!

Went out and ended up in "Bohemia" where we are semi regulars. After having sorted a table with bottle of spirits, mixers etc, we were plagued by people trying to ask Scott if they'd seen him on the TV, whilst their accomplices attempted to filch our redbull or help themselves to vodka. We relocated to the balcony where we were adorned with green bracelets to ward off the marauding masses.

The following day, after a very fine cheese and onion sandwich made by Mongy's Mum I headed back to the casino, where a very juicy 10/20 game was running. However, this was just a prelude to the £50 competition with one rebuy. With a field of just 22 players I was hoping to pass the time until the dealer's choice cash game. However, i got riled up early by one husband and wife combination, the wife delighted in telling me that my waterfall shuffle did not constitute a proper cut, rolling my eyes and exaggerated cutting seemed like an appropriate retort. As we got slightly deeper her husband (around 13/15 big blinds) bet/4bet all in the cut-off after I 3bet AK OTB. I Mach5 call, and he quips "that good eh?" before rolling over KK, the board runs out x x x x, but as the river A completes it's my cue to snipe with "It is now.." as he's dispatched to the rail.

I'm dealing the table, and as the final table approaching his wife is pretty tormented, as I am banging out the hands as fast as possible to make sure I bolster my burgeoning stack further. She's moaning constantly at me how "It's not fair, I 'fink' you're really mean" etc. She eventually announces she will be stalling every hand, but after I call clock on her after 5 seconds the first time she tries it, she developed some kind of self-respect or just resigned herself to the inevitability of the situation.

She did make the final table, not much of an accomplishment in a 22 runner field. There was a brief mention of paying the bubble but I soon snuffed out that hope, unfortunately the guy who bubbled is a pretty nice guy, not nice enough, however, for me to tell him opening AQ in ep for 10k out of a 30k stack @ 2k/4k and folding to my shove is probably not so good! Upon making it heads up against another lady in the field I joke to her "Aren't you glad we didn't pay the bubble now? More money for us". She looks genuinely horrified and replied "No. I'm decent and honest and always pay the bubble and I'm....well I better not say that". Wellss he obviously bit her tongue and stopped short of calling me a totalvagabond, but it does amuse me how they think changing a predetermined payout is in anyway honest or decent, strikes me as more feeble and pathetic, some kind of badge of honour for those weak tight nits trying to slime their way into the bubble money. Not on my watch!

Raz had been supplying me with a steady supply of G&Ts so after scooping the tourny for £800 and a £100 ticket to am upcoming freezeout it was not long before I got a lift back with him. The first half of the journey he was busy telling me how it was obvious I was going to win and how next time he plays a cash game he will bring £1k and not let me bluff him out.

Jason Mercier will resume playing today, so fingers crossed his success continues.

Chase The Jase...

2009-09-26T09:51:00.000-07:00

My 10% in Jason Mercier is obviously going to be a huge anticlimax...Why couldn't he just fizzle out? Is chipleader at the moment. Can follow updates here: http://www.pokernews.com/live-reporting/2009-wsope/main-event/

Sweet about me...

2009-09-22T08:37:00.000-07:00

Finished the Vicky Coren book, was an enjoyable enough read, even all the references to the ubiquitous Hendon Mob weren't too frustrating. Was unaware that she went out with Joe Beevers in the past. Was a very honest, frank account of her life and an interesting take on the live poker scene. The "Vic" featured heavily, so it was disappointing I don't have more of a knowledge of that scene. Now reading "A Bloody Good Winner" by Dave Nevison, a former currency trader, turned professional racing punter. It isn't especially well written and is very poorly organised, however, is some decent stuff in there, so will soldier on with it.

Punted up some money on the forthcoming World Series of Poker Europe main event taking 10% of Jason Mercier and a little piece in a lesser known player. Hopefully may be a Dealer's choice game in Torquay tonight, have read the O8 chapter in Ray Zee's book, but will need to revisit it a few more times I'd imagine to soak up all of that split pot goodness.

Finally, whilst waiting for my daily dose of "Doctors" this afternoon was flicking through channels and came across this advert on "Bloomburg". Hadn't seen it before and seemed worth sharing:

Whilst hardened readers of this blog will have seen the Richard&Judy clip before I can't resist sharing this link again.

"For Richer For Poorer"

2009-09-19T06:59:00.000-07:00

I mistakenly ordered an extra copy of Vicky Coren's new book. I was going to try and bolster my failing roll by setting up a lowest unique bid auction whereby readers ship on stars, however, didn't want to upset Rupert: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/money/a

Therefore, the book will be given away on the basis of Johnny Lodden thinks: "How many salmon will be caught by the Lower Teign Fishing assoction this year" as predicted by my Dad. Guess in blocks of 10, from 10 to 1000 and leave comment on blog. e.g PA: 20-29, TD 150-159 etc. Will close in a week from now or when someone binks it!

Looks like she's very perceptive "I came to understand that tournament poker is a bruising, crippling,endlessly disappointing and rejecting enterprise so you have to embrace the masochism.." Am not really into that myself Vicky, but could probably endure some of it for EPT title and $1M!

DTD Report.

2009-09-17T16:04:00.001-07:00

Headed up to Nottingham with mongy on Monday for the English Poker open. Attended the opening party which included a Tony Blair impersonator who bombed in terrific fashion, just as we thought things could only get better,there was a lookalike of the Queen wheeled out. The buffet and free drinks were appreciated, although Barny Boatman seemed to prefer to make his own DIY sandwiches pawing at them with a fork to make mix and match combos, having already barged in front of us in the queue. Obviously we were startled by someone so jaw-droppingly famous barging us and didn't make any sarcastic comments.

The club itself was good. The dealers were efficient and I was impressed by how polite the staff were. Was surprised to be charged £1.70 for a cup of tea in a $5k event though...My table was pretty good, I was running it for the first few levels, I eventually succumbed to Ben Robert's KK with my AhQh with the blinds at 150/300. Also saw exWarwick guys Kanu, Jambon and Simon, was nice to catch up with them having not seen them since Vegas '08.

Headed to Torquay last night for the 1/2 game and ran my £250 up to over £1400. Ended up lending one of the regs £1k to fund his evening's entertainment! Took a £1k pot in an unraised pot pre with 9To vs 88 on QJ8xx against someone who berated me the previous week for check shipping QQ on TT9 and running into AA, having called a 3bet pf 100bbs effective! Have ordered Ray Zee's book on split pot games so I can extend my dominance into their Hi-Lo games!

Running Good

2009-09-08T12:15:00.000-07:00

Just driving back from pub and encounter some temporary roadworks, Dad tells me just to run 'em, so give them a flash of headlights and run it. See car lights approaching other set so give a warning flash, lo and behold it's a police car, luckily the lights had changed to red.

However, turning this spot into a bluff didn't work as well...

http://www.pokerhand.org/?4672246

It's probably terrible considering his river betsize, someone who knows about pokers please be telling me the solution. Things will be picking up though as I've changed my background to the motivational ditty at the top of the page.

Failing that James has been spamming me with his usual barrage of obscenities, NSFW if you have a proper job: Looks to me like someone must be doing some decorating, all those dust sheets kicking around, what's with the two heaters too, should probably put some clothes on if it's that cold.

http://thesuperficial.com/2009/09/bfm_enlarged/enlarged-milla_jovovich_completely_nude.php?bfm_index=2

WCOOP

2009-09-07T15:22:00.000-07:00

Played the WCOOp $530 on stars last night for 8.5 hrs before coming 960th. Pretty frustrating, cash tables have been really bad during the day as well, so had to play some 200nl to get my fix. A week into the month, and I'm a bit behind on hands, no msn and internet is getting slacker....

Couldn't gamble before Rupert helped me set up holdem manager, so punted up some spreadbets on Friday, which seem to have edged into a bit of profit. They run until December unless I close them out before, except BowLeven which is "rolled over" every day.

Progress?

2009-09-04T02:07:00.002-07:00

Was awoken by a delivery yesterday, I eagerly anticipated it being the arrival of Ray Zee's "High Low Split Poker, Seven-Card Stud and Omaha Eight-Or-Better for Advanced Players". However, it was in fact my a new computer. No longer could I tolerate being ridiculed by Rupert for both the weakness of my push/fold game and the inadequacies of my RAM .

Of Course nothing is ever easy and copying my HM database over is taking forever. Someone should set up some kind of business where the computer is shipped to you "ready for war" with all the HM,spadeye etc already installed. Once this is done, I will be primarily moaning about the toughness of the EPO field, seems like there are too many good players, can't table select in tournaments either..sigh

2009-09-04T02:07:00.001-07:00

Overheard at Torquay Casino

2009-09-02T06:12:00.000-07:00

Whilst at urinal in gents : "That's the trouble with these fucking buttons they strangulate your bollocks".

Later..."We have to stop meeting like this, they'll think we're a pair of ginger beers".

Sadly I missed the guy trying to sell his cocaine stash to fund his taxi home, luckily for him he got a free ride from a panda car that picked him up outside the casino.

September

2009-08-31T16:54:00.000-07:00

A new month is upon us, and I find myself overwhelmed by a vague sense of optimism that I may be able to update my blog on a more frequent basis. I already sense this optimism draining away...

Spent most of August in France which was good fun. Most remarkable things were the filthy nature of their public toilets. Whilst thankfully only briefly be confronted by this horror, it required a great deal more fortitude to resist the mental disintegration the waiting staff tried to inflict on us, there seems to be an inherent ignorance in France that butter should be served with bread...Sadly the kitchen staff were always too busy peeling onions and chopping garlic to have the foresight to remove the butter from the fridge before finally serving it. These failings aside they're not a bad bunch!

Decided to make a list of poker goals this month, think I will try and do this regularly now, so I can convince myself I deserve a watch if I follow them until the end of the year. Without further ado here they are...

1. Watch at least 10 videos. Take notes, get the highlighters out etc.

2. Deluded notion of playing "A" game frequently, some nonsense about no msn whilst playing.

3. Bore as many people as possible asking for advice about hands.

4. 40k hands.

5. Don't play higher than 600nl.

Monkey Business

2008-10-07T23:11:00.000-07:00

Am going to get a few monkeys grinding the SSNL games. Pigs are also supposed to pretty intelligent...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7654267.stm

Congratulations Scott

2008-09-29T12:30:00.000-07:00

No...He hasn't overcome his irrational fear of moths quite yet, he did, however, manage to win the $250k on Ipoker for a first prize of $55k! This blog obviously must take some of the credit, for encouraging him to ween himself from his self destructive addiction to STTs

Not much else to report, although, I have recently decided that Britvic tonic, really is not up to scratch, and so, if Schweppes is not available I have been experimenting with Gin and bitter lemon. Early indications are that I should be able to transition into this major life change smoothly; I knocked a few back last night after scoring 51 for DCC.

Shall leave you with this review of "Dude, Where's My Car?". I found on the Radio Times website. I was motivated there and then to write the most scathing review of Gutshot I could muster until I realised it was shut! Shall probably watch "Croupier" tonight, haven't seen it in ages.

The daft title is the most amusing thing about this embarrassing, laugh-free exercise in teen idiocy. Utterly devoid of any redeeming features, it should be a confidence-booster for budding film-makers: if garbage like this can get funded, there's hope for anyone. Seann William Scott and Ashton Kutcher play the dumb, pot-smoking chums, who wake up after a night of hedonism to discover Kutcher's car is missing and decide to re-trace their movements. A transsexual stripper, Nordic extraterrestrials and an ostrich farmer all cross their path in this witless, pointless shambles that stumbles from one excruciating moment to another. It's unquestionably one of the worst ever US comedies.

The English Riviera

2008-09-21T04:57:00.000-07:00

This week I headed down to Torquay to meet with Scott and Rick. It was good to see them again, although one of the side effects Scott seems to have developed from excessive SNG play is an irrational fear of moths. They are attracted through the window due to the light thrown out by his monitors, however, after they have been forced to endure around 20 minutes of watching STTs they go crazy, bored of push/folding, they race around the room, amusing themselves by hiding in Scott's clothes. Things have got so bad for poor old Scott, that he now employs a cat, "Meg", to rip the moths wing from wing.

We made it out to Torquay casino on our second night, to play a £10rebuy and a bit of live cash. Scott accidently mucked Rick's cards, (self-dealt tournament) as The beech was shoving his chips allin- Not on the Interwebs now son! Protect your cards!! It was all resolved cordially, as I enjoyed a Chichen salad. I'm sure last year it was a Chicken and bacon salad, must be a casualty of the credit crunch I guess.

Thanks to Scott for having us to stay, and good luck with your holiday Rick, hope XL don't leave you stranded out there!

Trip to Exeter.

2008-09-14T03:00:00.000-07:00

Had to catch the bus back from Exeter after a driving lesson recently, the journey back was certainly an amusing affair. Some drunk old codger called Jerry, from a nearby village had taken his mobile phone to the repair shop, however, as it was still powered by AAA batteries the proprietor suggested it may not be worth saving. Not deterred, Gerry informed anyone on the bus who was listening that he would be taking the phone to pieces and spraying it with WD40, to see if it would bring his phone back to life.

The next incident occurred as we approached the Village of Ide. As the bus was quite crowded, someone was standing at the front, despite there being the odd seat available. At this point Jerry interjected "What's that woman doing standing up there". He was informed by a couple of girls next to him that the person was in fact a man, who just happened to have long braided hair. Jerry wasn't to convinced and a loud conversation ensued with the chastised bloke escaping at the next stop!

There was one other incident, but I shall keep that up my sleeve for another day, I don't want to use up all my material at once! Played cricket yesterday against a touring team called "The Badgers"composed of people who work for "The Sun" and "Daily Mirror", needless to say one of them edged it and failed to walk, am sure a broadsheet employee would be fired for besmirching the reputation of his publication if imitating such behaviour.

The Price of fame.

2008-09-12T00:06:00.000-07:00

Was scanning the party lobby yesterday when I noticed the leggo poker instructor Playaa__69 sat at a couple of tables. I was immediately starstruck and rushed to join him. He was pretty friendly in the chat, although my cold 4 bet was not met with such a cordial response! I later realised I had read of a big downswing on his blog, so hope he wasn't playing 2/4 trying to rebuild and then having to put up with the "What are you doing down here" type comments. Nevermind, I'm sure my witty bonhomie cheered him up.

http://www.leggopoker.com/blogs/Unknown%20Soldier/

If it's good enough for Daut..

2008-09-11T05:36:00.000-07:00

Whilst neglecting my own blog I would often peruse those of others. I noticed Ryan's penchant for UFC and thought I'd share this clip gleaned from the bbc news site. She's certainly not "the new Carol Vorderman". Quite...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7609330.stm

Autumn bound..

2008-09-10T09:25:00.000-07:00

Decided to dust the cobwebs of this blog and restore it to its former glory! Obviously been a long time since my last entry..A lot has happened since then, but I don't think it's appropriate to dwell on the trivialities of world affairs etc when obviously the resignation of Carol Vorderman from Countdown has made this a truly "annus horibillis", perhaps compounded slightly Neighbours coverage being interrupted by the Olympics it's been a tough year for many.

Life has been complicated by "Doctors" and "Neighbours" both being shown @ 1.45 p.m. At least I can catch up with Doctors on iplayer if I am unfortunate enough to miss it, but it throws me off kilter for the rest of the day....I'd kick the dog but it's got a bad foot atm so hardly seems fair whilst it's so pawwwly.

As I strive to move up into the msnl games on party Ithink getting a decent routine going is really going to help improve my mental state to one of Zen like focus ,so I can pinpoint with accuracy optimal cold limp 4 betting 3 bet squezzing of late position openers.

My sister is off to start work in London tomorrow, I hear the streets are paved with gold ( apart from outside "The Gutshot" where it has been pilfered to add to "The Dealers Benevolent Fund", lest we forget them... Off for a meal tonight at a nearby pub.

New Year etc

2008-02-19T09:17:00.000-08:00

As was recently pointed out to me, neither shaniac nor myself have published a blog entry for some time. I blame my apathy on 2 stays in the Jagger household, not sure about Shane! Things have been ticking along really nicely and I have been trying my hands at a few mtts after I won the 50K guarantee on stars just before Christmas and didn't blow all the $14k gold, frankincense and myrrh; although obv indulged in a few glasses of mulled wine. Since the I also won the 20k guarantee on Party for ~5k and managed 2nd in a $100 freeze on stars for ~9k. This combined with a cluster of smaller cashes has lead me to increase my mtt volume.

Another bird themed entry

2007-11-12T13:21:00.000-08:00

I spent some of today teaching ducks to fly. The ducks were happily swimming around on the pond and don't seem particularly inclined to take to the sky. Unfortunately they were bred for the purpose of being shot; and as only a cad would shoot a duck on a pond it's rather essential that they overcome their vertigo. We managed to tempt them into a cage with a bit of wheat and then drove across the field and flung them to the sky. Their sense of direction did not appear especially great, two flew into a fence and a couple more tired of all the flapping rather soon and waddled back towards the pond. The morning was rounded off with a Large steak pasty from Chudleigh bakery.

I am just settling down to watch a Sherlock Holmes episode on itv.com. Sadly I have seen it before, Holmes's consumption of morphine and cocaine seem to have got rather out of hand. Thank Goodness he has Doctor Watson and Mrs Hudson to keep an eye on him. He seems a little despondent at the moment-"How I abhor the dull routine of existence". Good job he doesn't have to grind SSNL, it may well tip him over the edge.

Peacocks At Large

2007-11-06T01:39:00.000-08:00

I'd like to thank the Dunsford and Doddiscomsleigh parish magazine for the inspiration which prompted this brief entry. In short there are acouple of renegade peacocks running riot in a local village. It appears that villagers are determined to get these miscreant birds under lock and key before as any more flower beds are terrorised or blue rinses defecaeted upon. "If anyone has regular visits from these birds and has a shed/enclosure that they can be lured into with food, can they please let either the clerk or a Parish Concillor know". For how much longer can these birds elude capture and prance from thatched roof to thatched roof?

One word of warning, whilst the plumage that makes up the peacocks' train my look rather "pretty" BEWARE! It is well known that the feathers of this bird contain the "eye of the devil" and bringing one into your house is bound to provoke a downswing like no other.

Paradise Link

2007-11-05T01:54:00.000-08:00

Paradise are sponsoring the WASOP this year, sign up for your account! This Link is for Non-Warwick university students.

Car Bustoo!

2007-11-04T06:17:00.001-08:00

So I'd got my head down and was putting some hands in, when the phone goes..Oh no I think, it's Party making sure I'm not a robot again. If only; my parents had infact lent a car that had been given to them in an hour of need to some guy from a nearby village. Said gentleman is actually a bit of a local character, I used to play cricket with him, andI recall in one post-match celebration he certainly put an industrial volume of booze away. I still recall the image of him surreptiously vomiting, wiping the debris from his face with a nearby napkin, all whilst carefully protecting his pint and cigarette in his other hand, it all seemed like a well rehearsed routine; he was clearly unphased.

Anyway somehow the car had broken down..on a particularly busy road-Telegraph Hill-not even any grass down the middle of it. The wife had to phone the police, who were especially interested that a screwdriver needed to be used to start the vehicle. The lady was infact on her way to pick up an ill child from school! So an hour or so later a Breakdown vehicle arrives and it is up to me to sort the situation. The lady was content to have a moan about her husband and told me it would do him good to see what she had to do every day etc.. I decided that a good cup of tea was the best remedy, her husband arrived having driven up from Cornwall shortly after, and I was retrospectively offered a ticked to the famed Lower teign Fishing Association dinner that evening on the account of them having no way of getting there.

I've been watching a few Cardrunners videos today and playing around with the pokerev software. Seems that the latest fad atm seems to be achieving a high W$WSF, I'm not convinced how well this applies to ssnl, I feel solid value betting is more imprortant, but obviously puutting pressure on the better opponents capable of folding is desireable. Will probably give the Sunday tournaments a misss today, as i have not cashed in any for ages and it is rather frustrating. Will, however try and play the Warwick tournies again, having made the final of the heads up the last couple of weeks, having won it once (probs undeservedly) against Jac, he adapted much better and quicker than anyone else to my style of play. Tom beat me last week and was certainly the most aggressive player I encountered and it appeared that he was happy to see flops in reraised pots with a very wide range of hands. I've not cashed in the standard tourny yet, having run KK into AA on one occassion and being outdrawn in my last few efforts.

Car Bustoo!

2007-11-04T06:17:00.000-08:00

Devon

2007-10-29T06:34:00.000-07:00

Ventured northwards up to Warwick last week. Was a good week and good to catch up with people. Watched the rugby in TJ's, and even addressed my favourite barmaid Louise by name and got served! The toilets have been refurbished, making the joint slightly more salubrious, however, the same old undesireables always eem to be lurking around the quiz machine, no doubt determined to assure that Flash and I were unable to assert our unprecedented dominance at 'Word Up'. No real surprises that England lost although I was a little saddened that the margin of defeat was 9 points; as I had a wager with James backing South Africa to win by the tune of 10 points or more.

Before Evolve we stopped by Tuscano's, sadly the rather pale, gaunt eastern european lady was absent once again, I really hope she didn't get a dodgy dose of crack. We all sat around aghast as one of Chattie's old pals from home, Talula, demolished pizza after pizza, like it was going out of fashion. It would have made an excellent video addition to the blog actually. Then we headed onto evolve, with Bobby Jagger navigating his way along the canal to meet us. Was a good night, but the most strartling denouement of the evening has to be that Vialli's have changed their uniform, no longer do they look so resplendant in the former glory of their powder-puff blue, having opted for a more regal shade of purple. I actually am quite pleased about this, as it means that the autographed cap I purchased last year is now a sought after collector's item, especially as Fazeel was good enough to sign it for me..

More to follow..

Career Decision.

2007-10-04T13:33:00.000-07:00

Don't be alarmed, I'm not planiing on getting a job anytime soon. Instead I include this question to allow you to muse over. I actually discovered it in Derren Brown's "Trick's of the Mind" which I'd recommend as a good read.

"Hary was very creative as a child and loved attention. He didn't always feel 'part of the gang' and this led to a desire to try and impress others with his talents. He went through school self obsessed, and tried his hand at any creative field. He really enjoyed the opportunity to give a presentation or show of in front of an audience. Take a look at the following statements regarding Harry as an adult, and place them in order of most liekly to least likely.

A) Harry is an accountant
B)Harry is a professional actor
C)Harry enjoys going to classical concerts
D)Harry is a professional actor and enjoys going to classical concerts.

October Goals

2007-09-30T10:21:00.000-07:00

Well I am no longer troubled by the rigours of pursuing a university degree so should be able to devote a decent amount of time to the tables this month. I hope to play at least 60k hands mainly on Party, but also testing the waters in the UB and FT games. I shall be concentrating on adopting good game selection and minimising my errors whilst exploiting the weakness of other players. I shall strive to continue good bankroll management, although this discipline has improved greatly recently. I haven't set a target win rate but I guess it would be nice to surpass 5PTBB/100.

in the croft

2007-09-28T09:49:00.001-07:00

Hi y’all, I’m making this blog from the comfort of my adopted home claycroft. After the initial disappointment of not having Grundy living next door I’m getting used to it. I have a 24” monitor and Dave’s Xbox360 at the moment running at 1080 on the screen (although 1080i not 1080p coz using a composite cable not HDMI at the mo). So I’m staying amused on the long winter nights.

I started my lectures last Sunday and have had 10-1 and 2-5 every day with theory in the morning and examples classes in the afternoon. I have been missing the theory ones on the last day or two in favour of a lie in and then getting the question answering technique. Pretty reasonable considering we have an exam on Wednesday and we only have to answer questions.

Other than working I’ve been seeing Will, Jack, and Dave for a session at the Isle and some basketball. Also I have been taught big 2 which is a card game I suck at and don’t rate that much but its better than poker lol.

The isle was the £30 double chance and I basically folded my way down to 5BB for about 2 hours making a steal or two. Then CO raised, I shove AK (woooooo), BB calls (QT), CO has KK. gg. After, I sat about with Will for a while as Jack and Dave played the cash games.

The card room manager was very keen to get a cash game going so we sorted out a 1/1 game with around 6 players. Not without waiting 30 mins for the Chinese October moon celebrations to complete (groan). Only player in the game who had a clue was Will, and everyone else was weak/tight or weak/loose, so I played about 50/45 for a couple of orbits and fortunately found myself on £110 (sat with 50). Then I have AT, make it 5 pre, 2 callers, flop A62 I bet 10, shorty moves in for 11 total with A6, whatever. Dealer obv berates me because “he obviously has 2 pair there”.

Couple of hands later I try and value bet KJ on K high board on the river as he’s played it pretty weak on a non-drawy board. He turns up with AK. Played very few hands vs Will (he was setmining me a few times) then he raised up a hand in mp. Mental woman calls, I flat with JJ because I think a lot of the time I’m playing for a set and if I reraise Will probs shoves all better hands and folds worse so thought I’d try and play a multiway pot. Then the guy in position on me shoves for like £25 folds back to me, I say “that’s pretty gay” and fold face up. He showed QQ, ty. The mental oriental woman then goes “why you pass jacks?!!?!?!?!” so I obv replied “’coz he had queens.”

Last pot of the night I played called someone AI on TTQ with 99, he looked like he had been shot but he had KJ and hit a Q, basically flipaments. Left the game and pottered about checking out the waitresses like a dirty perv.

In other news at Isle I made like £30 at roulette and got cockwatched by some cleaner woman so it was not uneventful.

Since the isle I have been playing madden and sitting around basically, getting over the back end of a flu so I’m looking forward to playing some football or gym or whatever next week.

Online poker has been going a bit rubbish for me at the mo, lost like 6 buyins recently but only played about 6k hands this month due to being on hols/moving networks/moving to campus etc etc (just being lazy). So in my bad mood at online pokarz I cashed out a bit of money to buy a ps3, but it looks like a xbox 360 is a better bet at the moment so I have a lot more money to spend on games etc. The games I will buy when I purchase are Madden 2008, Halo 3, Gears of War. I don’t even like fps games but I’ve never played a halo game so whatever, plus I bet it’ll look really perty. Here is pic of setup and this months graph.

Back in Devon

2007-09-26T14:51:00.000-07:00

Spent most of yesterday trying to configure Party poker to work with Vista. Also have now managed to get all my software functioning properly and thanks to Jambon have a decent paHud set up. Spadeye has enabled me to gameselect really well and I am always aware that as soon as table conditions tighten up there are plenty of donks ripe to donate else where. God has kissed my eyes over the last 24 hrs- see PT screenshot- AA and KK are indestructable. Long may this continue. The day was not quite glitch free, however, as the sheep broke out and will need to be moved tomorrow.

Busy week!

2007-09-20T06:57:00.000-07:00

The trip to the Isle on Tuesday was great fun. Before the tournament there were 9 of us (Brad, Jags, Rupert, Tommo, Jambon, Flash, JD, Myself and Lauren) and we went for a meal at Farraday's steak house above the main casino floor. Quoting Jambon "Possibly the best steak I've had in the UK". Now that's saying something! I will be going there more often in the future. As for the tournament, I'm on a table with Jambon and Brad and manage to chip up early by getting awesome cards but after the break, I slowly grind down to 10xbbs and eventually shove with 7-7 on the button, only for the small-blind to tank for ages and then say: "Well I guess I got to gamble sometime" and calls (big blind folds) and reluctantly flips over J-J?!?! He also told someone off for not checking down with him whilst there was an all-in. Zzz what a joke.

I went to the dealer's choice cash game (1-2 Pot-Limit blinds) and sat down with Flash for 300 a piece. Since most of the games chosen were Pot-Limit omaha, I felt the game would be well suited for me. However, 7-card stud is a popular choice and this hand came up:

Me: (Q-T)-Q
Villain: (x-x)-K

The player with a King showing pots to 7quid. Myself and Flash (showing a Four) call. Fourth street brings:

Me: (Q-T)-Q-2.
Villian: (x-x)-K-8

This time he bets 15quid, Flash folds and I decide to peel one more card. It is pretty clear he has a King in the hole, but he seems spewey enough to pay me off if I hit.

Me: (Q-T)-Q-2-Q (yes!)
Villain: (x-x)-K-8-8

I'm thinking about what to do when Villain puts in some chips out of turn! I go ahead and check, he duly bets 50quid. I raise full-pot which (actually set him in for around 175 on top). The pot is over 500 quid and we flip our cards:

Me: (Q-T)-Q-2-Q
Villain: (K-x)-K-8-8

I'm in fantastic shape, especially when I fill up on sixth street with a Ten. Someone says they have mucked a King so there is just one King in the deck that will lose me the pot. He hits, I cry. Villain eventually runs his stack to over 900quid before losing it in two pots. He lost 550 of it with the 2nd nut flush against the nut flush (in IRISH...sheesh). Then tilted the remaining 300-odd to me when I 4-bet pre with A-A-Q-Qds in a straddled pot (thanks Jags!) and he saw a flop with A-K-4-2ds (it wasn't even high-low!!). Flop of Q-x-x and he shoved flop. I quad up on turn to get a bit of justice for the earlier pot. Hello Mr 600quid pot.

After dropping off JD at the airport the next morning, I went back home to find Tommo, Flash and Jambon all tucked up under the same duvet in my living room (I actually had photographic evidence of this but my phone crashed grrrrrr). Went for a late lunch with Jambon's friend Lindsay on campus then set off on our trip to London. Having had 4 hours sleep the journey would have been disaster had it not been for the "I'm going to a desert island..." game...(Avacado, banana boat, chimpanzee...). As we drove through the streets of Newham (highest crime-rate borough in London), I could see Tommo in the back seat looking slightly worried and trying not to make eye contact with the kids in hoodies on the streets.

We dropped off my sister at the flat and we were on our way to Flash's when I mentioned that we have just driven past Gutshot. Merely a passing comment, Flash notices it's 7:50pm and says that the evening tournys start at 8pm. We make a quick U-turn and park right outside Gutshot just in time for the first hand of a 75quid freezeout. With no players of any note on my table (except for Ade who was very tight), I quickly mixed things up by opening a lot of pots. This kid who had good chip-shuffling skills clearly fancied himself as a player and I'm pretty sure he suffered from FPS (fancy-play syndrome) and was just waiting for him to explode.

With blinds at 75-150, I opened up with A-J in mid position to 400, Button flat calls (tendency to call pre very weak) and FPS kid can-t resist and shoves for 2.5k total. I insta-call (button folds) and he flips over 6-4. Thank-you. I hit a couple of coolers (T-T vs Q-Q, etc) and have to play short-stack for sometime. I've made sure that I constantly know how many bb's I have and won a few showdowns to go to final above average. Tommo makes final too so we trade 10%. Early on Tommo finds A-Q and loses a big race vs T-T and drops to 3xbb. Next hand Tommo is all-in and wakes up with A-A (vs K-K) and he's back in the game!

Then come 3 pots in which myself and Tommo get involved in.

#1: Blinds 800-1600. I open with 6-6 in mid-position to 4k. Folds round to Tommo in small blind who shoves for 11k total. I had 35k before the hand so it's an easy call. He shows 9-9 and doubles up.

#2: Blinds 800-1600. I open with 7-7 in mid-position to 4k. Folds round to Tommo in small blind who shoves for 12k total. However, dealer tells me it's 22k to call and I insta-muck, only to be told shortly after that the dealer made a miscalculation. Yikes! Should be an insta-call :( Nevermind, I should have double-checked myself.

#3: Blinds 1k-2k. Tommo opens with J-J in mid-position to 5k. I wake up in small blind with A-K and we are off to the races. Tommo loses yet another race and is soon knocked out.

I open up a few pots to keep afloat and end up 3-handed with the chiplead. Now I negotiate 700 to myself and 600 to the other two whislt we play for the rest. I'm pretty confident since I have good reads on the other players. We end up heads-up and the other guy has the chip lead after knocked out 3rd place and I'm staying afloat for a while, having to push my button quite a lot. I build back up to 80k (to his 100k with blinds 4k/8k) and shove button with Q-8. Now I've been shoving the button a LOT for the past 25mins of heads up and he finally calls with J-T?!?!?!?!?! Ten on the flop and I'm second place. Nevermind, I'm pretty happy that I played heads-up for the prize since 700quid is still a really nice pay day. I plan to go back for the Saturday night 100 freezeout with the others. I love the 7k starting stack so hopefully I can get another deep run.

Just can't stay away...

2007-09-20T06:18:00.000-07:00

So after dropping Dave's sister of in East London we witnessed crime, poverty, filth and depravity. Of course such an environment could not help but remind us all of the Gutshot club..So before we knew it we were heading out of the frying pan and into the fire, we were obviously in a state of denial "well it can't be as bad as last time", "at least they have recently added neon blue lights to the toilets" to prevent the delears shooting up in the toilets. So filled with a surge of euphoria and peach flavoured water coursing through our veins we were slicing through the London traffic.

Upon arrival we discovered that we would be playing a £75 freeze out which attracted 51 hopeful Gutshoters.I overheard the tournament director remarking his surprise at the limited number of runners, football of somekind was blamed, however, I expect his concern was probably due to the reduction in potential tip money.

I got of to a solid start and progressed to final with Dave, we then played a massive pot with Dave's AK improving enough to slaughter my JJ. I came in 7th for £215 with Dave going on to finish 2nd for a none to shabby £700-(the dealers were not forgotten).

I've always been a pretty easy going kind of fellow able to tolerate the ineptitude of others..However, the mug of tea served to me at Gutshot was a bridge too far, apparently due to the clubs financial difficulties, new cost cutting measures have been implemented- this meant that the tea bag used to "brew" my tea was 3rd hand. Upon complaining I was told that i should be grateful,as the tea bag had previously graced the mugs of Gutshot supremo's Ade Bayo and Neil Channing. My powers of negotiation ensured that I managed to secure a new tea bag to add to the hot water and milk. I've always felt you can judge a great deal about a person/establishment by quality of the tea they make, and the 'cuppa' served to me was dreary, grey and tired.

Flash had been badgering me into getting a massage and so I finally obliged. Now, it's not saying much to say that this young lady was far more aggressive than any player I have ever encountered at Gutshot. I've heard of deep tissue massage but as her elbows powered into my shoulder-blades I was in a far more tricky spot than any Gutshoter had previously put me in. Should I ask the masseuse to ease it up a little or endure the punishment. Thankfully the elbow treatment did not last too long and the massage was quite relaxing.

Flash and I were then introduced to a variation of chinese poker by a young lady who also finalled the £75 freeze and who had a great poker name JayLuck. the game benuses me, and I was worried the game may involve forfeits of downing noodle soup or something horrific so left to shortstack a rather juicy 2-2 plo game. Went ok as Chennifer reliably informed me I got my money in as a 70% favourite, but alas to no avail. Went back upstairs to check on the "Big 2" action, which was just winding down. Flash had to beat a rather hasty retreatas he had got in rather deep having lost £5k and didn't have the cash on him. Talk of triad hitmen was mention, but Dave Lu stepped up to the plate and sd hr was good for the five large or double or quits. Dave then chalked up an impressive victory ensuring that we headed back to Balham with all our fingers and toes intact.

a surprise visit

2007-09-19T06:54:00.001-07:00

It’s 8am on Monday morning in Newcastle, due still glistening on the windowsill in my room, drunks waddling home after a good Sunday lunch. I hit my phone alarm and leap out of bed. Rarely has getting up been so anticipated, but today, I was going to Leamington.

I got to the airport a little drowsy but raring to go nevertheless. I checked in and headed through security. The obligatory trip to WHSmith was fruitful as ever, today I got FourFourTwo (complete with a 100 greatest players feature – Kaka won), and T3Home – essential for the more discerning balla. Eventually I got the call and went to the gate to be greeted only by a plump airport worker, in hope of a conversation I asked with a grin whether I was alone on the flight. “NO, there’s 8 in total.” was my reply. Oh lord, 8 people, is this a biplane I thought to myself. When the tardy had arrived we got the bus to the plane and I boarded a prop plane for the first time in about 7 years. It was far noisier than I remember and obviously the take off and landing were not for the faint hearted.

At the exit was a bright eyed and bushy tailed Dave Lu, complete with leftover Frankie and Bennies sandwiches. He whisked me to Leamington and Lauren’s new flat. Not without stopping at homebase to buy some gravel, compost, and heather for some reason.

At Lauren’s I popped my head through Tommo’s (Sarah’s) door to say hi, unfortunately Tommo was dead to the world, and without glasses I might as well have been Ghandi. A few hours passed and Flash and Tommo emerged, Flash particularly surprised to see me there. That afternoon we did some gardening (I’ll leave the details in anticipation of Dave’s timelapse photography) and went out for a meal at Café Rouge as Bistrot Pierre was shut. My meal was very nice, I had a selection of charcuterie meats, a sausage baguette for main, then a crepe for desert. The others however were not so lucky – ordering off the set menu. The French waitress failed to understand the order so we had to order a second timebefore anything had started. Flash, Dave, and Tommo all ordered a sticky toffee pudding, it in fact arrived cold with no custard or apology, needless to say – tipping was minimal.

The evening came around and we played a little cash game on the kitchen table before heading to TJs for a drink or two. We got to sleep around four and prepared for a busy Tuesday.

With talk of going to the zoo or drayton manor the night before – waking up at 1 wasn’t a great start. Still, we at least went to the driving range for a brief afternoon session, featuring Tommo destroying a £5 chip with a rented driver. By the evening it was time to head to the Isle the new casino in Coventry.

The casino was spacious and done out in reasonable taste somehow. The waitresses were wearing provocative clothes, and there was no rake. Unfortunately nausea, swollen glands, and a headache took over after the tournament so sitting about drinking water was the order of the day. The tournament went pretty badly for me, only played 2 hands before the first break and was fairly cold decked (unlike Rupert “I has quads” Elder). After the break I shoved on 4 limpers with AKd for about 7k (blinds 200-400), utg called – oh no. Ahhh, he was slowplaying the QTd, he hit 2pr and I was down to 3300. An orbit later and in fact the first hand I had Jambon and Brad on the table utg minraised to 1200, I stuck it in for 2400 total with AT, utg had QJ. gg. I will let Dave, Flash and Tommo keep you in the loop for cash games although I think the gist is – Tommo runs good at blackjack, Dave gets one outed in 7-stud then makes it back in 4O.

Small mention for the steakhouse beforehand – Farradays (sic?). My steak was pretty average and overpriced considering it wasn’t cooked especially well. But everyone elses was nice by the sounds and it was a nice place so I’m sure to be back to give them another chance – I’m kind like that.

I have unfortunately come down with pandemic flu by the looks of things so stay away from me, doctors have said that if my immune system was the same as normal humans I would be dead by now.

I’m going to bed.

The Isle

2007-09-17T10:31:00.000-07:00

Right, so we (me, Lauren, Tommo and Flash) decided to go to the new Isle Casino in Coventry for a tenner rebuy. Yum! Let me tell you about this place first. It is amazing, the nicest casino in England at the moment. Wow! There is a steakhouse in the casino, as well as a swanky sports bar and food court. Yum! So I sit down at my table, and who should I find on my right but Lauren, and who should I find on my left but Flash. Awesome! So the tournament kicks off, and I am playing my standard spewy rebuy game. Lauren is playing very well but gets unlucky several times (AA vs K9, 77 vs 55 and AK vs T8 amongst others). Flash builds up a stack nicely despite this one pot where on a board of K-9-5-K and Flash shoves. There is an insta-call from 2-2 in late position and clearly he has a read on Flash since our hero flips over T-6 offsuit. What a read by late position!!!

I bust pretty quickly (doh!) and sit in a dealer's choice cash game with Tommo, who by this time is causing havoc (asking for 5/10 limit and courcheval). He then compromises by choosing hi-lo omaha but this does not go down well. Tommo is told to "go to the Vegas table over there, this is Coventry", as some old guy pointed to an empty table in the corner. Tommo compromises once more by choosing 4-card omaha zzz.

Flash is getting along nicely in the tournament, and Lauren has left for Leam as she is working the next day. Nice! Flash ends up coming 9th in the tourny for 50 quid, and by this time I am feeling absolutely shattered, but we soldier on anyway until the casino shuts at 6 in the morning. One of the highlights of the night is where Tommo has Q-Q-x-x on a board of Q-5-5-K-7 and he sets someone (Morgan Freeman look-a-like) all-in for 29 quid who calls. Tommo flips over his full house and his opponent flicks through his hand for a good 15 seconds before showing 5-5 for quads. A slowroll even I would have been proud of myself. Tommo is incensed and storms out of the cardroom with the dealer saying "If that happened to me, I'd take a break too." As soon as Tommo re-enters the cardroom, he asks for a seat change and moves to the seat directly opposite Morgan and proceeds to stare him down for the next 10 minutes. The rest of the cash-game is pretty uneventful except for the choices of games (7-card stud, badugi, 4-,5- and 6-card Omaha and of course holdem).

On a side note, we felt pretty welcome at The Isle Coventry - the players were friendly and the atmosphere was very nice. Players of note: Old Chinese Guy talking about China National Service; Karl the dealer who always kept things in line (even when the rowdy Greeks came to the table); Zeb who told Tommo to go to the Vegas table. He also said how he preferred women with "larger features around the waist"...interesting. We ended up staying until 6am (casino closing time). The service was awesome (zero rake, zero table charges...how much better can you get?). We'll be going back on Tuesday to take down the 30quid Double Chance. 6k starting stack. YUM YUM!

Flower Power

2007-09-16T08:07:00.000-07:00

So I've ended up at Lauren's, and today we did a spot of gardening with Dave and Tommo. Lauren's new pad has a balcony, which is covered with broken glass, syringes, soiled needles and used condoms, and so we decided to jazz it up a bit by visiting the local garden centre. Obviously Tommo felt like a kid in a candystore, and we ended up buying half the store. Here are the before and after shots of the balcony.

jd summer update

2007-09-16T07:19:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone – I’ll be posting on this blog from now on, as well as Tommo and Flash and goodness knows who else in the future.

This summer has been a good one for me overall, being the slacker I am I’ve done very little productive. Term ended with a sombre drink down the jug with Tommo and Flash and then it was back up north.

The weather has been spectacularly bad this summer – even by Newcastle’s standards, we had perhaps 3 weeks of sun in total not to be whining. The earlier parts of the summer were spent playing football and dosing with the lads from back home. The monotony was first broken with my trip down to the big smoke…

Obviously I was flying down to Stanstead and naturally assumed my good friend Dave Lu would be picking me up en route from Stratford. Unfortunately, despite being bullet-proof the rover was powerless to resist the Spetsnaz’s concentrated efforts to ruin the trip by tampering with the gearbox. Shown is a picture of one training to take down the Lu.

Fear not readers – Flash was eager as ever to swoop into action until a puncture put a stop to that. So Stanstead express it was… having been delayed by an hour at Newcastle and bought Flash a present for picking me up I was still feeling chipper. With the promise of an awesome structured tourney coming up. Tommo, Dave, Jambon, and myself went to get some pre-tourny grub in a restaurant Flash recommended. Why on earth you would recommend a restaurant where everyone is Serbo/Italian and can’t talk English is beyond me but I soldiered on through my steak. I’m such a trooper.

Despite my best hopes Gutshot was a bit awful, really really hot and a particularly offensive brand of cockney inhabited it. Nevertheless I still drew Doshi to my left at the start so I had someone to talk to. Played one hand in the first 90 mins where I folded TT to Dru’s 4-bet (after some tard minraised in front of me), I showed and he kindly showed QQ. After that I was moved to in position on Grundy fairly short stacked after the first break. I picked up AJ in the big, some woman who seemed pretty loose from Dru’s observation raised it up and someone who is supposedly good flatted in position. I figured my raise would fold out all the pps he’s calling there and I can only really see AQ there that I’m worried about. I was confident I was ahead of wifey’s range so I shoved to be called by the woman’s AT and the other guy to fold. Thinner than I thought. The flop gave her a flush draw, the turn gave her a gutshot as well, and then somehow the river chopped it. I was a little annoyed to say the least. Next orbit I’m in the big again and Flash completes, I check AT. Flop K-high. I call to shove the turn because I always think he’s bluffing despite him showing the nuts every hand since term 1 year 1. Turn is A, he bets small I think and I shove, he has bullets obv. Now I was busto I could concentrate on some railing with Ed Roger for a bit and later Jambon. The highlight of which was Jambon being accosted by the TD for not being behind the rail. He was an awful TD and an awful person from what I gathered – Gutshot: Serious Business. Obviously the good players left dominated and Tommo told you what happened in his post.

Afterwards at about 5am in London Dave thought the best plan of action was to wave around a £3k roll for ten mins waiting to get mugged – I got a lift from Jambon. Without Dave.

The next day we played some tennis which was awesome fun, especially seeing as my David Lloyd card works in LDN, then headed to Dru’s balla pad for a homegame. Jamie and I were HU and I ran AJ into his KK and failed to improve.

Since then I have been grinding away but hardly playing any hands which may make it a contradiction in terms, but I am playing party 100NL at the moment and fewer tables than before for a much better win rate. I went to Venice last week with the family which was nice for a change. One week at home now until uni starts for my masters – I have to get there a week before everyone else and do 6 hours a day inc. weekends and an exam at the end. Beat. At least Dave, Chattie, Will, Jack, and some guys I know through Jujitsu will also be there so it should be ok.

In other news – I’m confident me and Flash will be sharing a bathroom in claycroft this year, here is an artists impression of the setup.

The paper riddle:

Rupert – 0.1^50 is just really really small. But the answer is in fact to the sun which is pretty cool - 0.1x2^50mm.

riddle me this, riddle me that

2007-09-15T18:16:00.000-07:00

Seeing as Tommo let me in on his elite blog writing team I thought I'd open with a little riddle

even though this isn't a riddle at all I liked the title so you can go swivel.

If you have a piece of paper 0.1mm thick and fold it fifty times (remember IF, obviously you can't really, Lauren), how tall would the resulting stack be?

Post your answers in the comments section and don't use a calculator or write it in algebra like a dick - it's fun to guess.

I'll post the answer when I post a full update of the summer tomorrow or in a few days or never.

p.s. I like this photo of the owl so I'm posting it.

Welcome to my new blog! Overdue update

2007-09-15T14:17:00.000-07:00

Hello to my multitude of fans, and welcome to my brand new blog! The bastards at the Warwick Graduate Association want to charge me 20 pounds a year, which is ridiculous, and so here is the result: my brand new blog. All my readers are in for such a treat, for I have so much to say. So much has happened in the last three months or so.

I think the first event was note was Final Fling. I was greatly looking forward to this, and it didn't disappoint. The weather was on the tempremental side, and wellington boots were the order of the day, but the damp conditions could not dampen our spirits. I managed to experience most of the theme park rides without puking, though I do admit to a slight queasiness when stumbling off The Trembling TeaCups, a ride not for the faint hearted. One incident of note which I found quite amusing was seeing a fellow reveller hurl her guts up uncontrollably for at least 10 minutes. She was finally helped out by someone as me and JD watched in amusement.

The end of term was a much more emotional occasion, as we witnessed the end of the Lucky 77 household. Walking around the empty house, which was by now a mere shell of its former glorious existence, was a sombre and distressing experience. It gave me time to reflect on the gay times I had had at the mansion. The fun, the frolics, the frivolities. I remember one time early in the third term, whilst playing poker at 4 in the morning, hearing a noise outside the window. Upon turning my head, I saw a scraggily and unkempt youth who quickly asked me 'Got a joint mate'. Ah, the memories. Here is a picture of the rubbish outside the house after the kitchen had been emptied; I'm sure you'll agree this sea of waste even rivals the rubbish created by the home ground at Coventry City home game (see photo at the top).

The first few weeks of my Summer were taken up milking the cows, collecting the eggs and trimming the neighbours' overgrown crysanthenums. I also found myself in the pub most evenings, and early most mornings come to that. On the poker front, I invested in a new set-up, including a nice new monitor, new computer, new optical mouse and 10GW computer cooling system. With all of this assembled, I was ready to play!

Late August, I travelled to Torquay to play in the Golden Sands Festival. It would be a good chance to catch up with Rick, Scott and Parsy. There were a few events, but the one I had my eye on was the 50 rebuy. I built up a huge stack in this, and made it to the final table confident of a victory (3k) as second in chips, but still with only 12BB. Then this hand came up: the chip leader at the table raises, I shove with A4o, and he calls with AT. gg me. Slightly saddened with this development, I decided to sit in the 1/2 PL cash game, and who else should be at the table but Charalambos Xanthos. He obviously fancied himself a bit, as he was bossing the table. It was then that we played the following pot. I make it 8 to go with KsQs, and he makes it 25 from the SB. So I then make it 70, and he flatcalls. Flop comes down 9xx with two spades, and he checks. I bet 120 and he check-raises all in for 300. I'm getting about 3-1 on the call, and so call. The turn and river come T, T, and he taps the table saying 'you're good'. I wait for him to muck, but he declines, and he shows AsJs for Ace high for a 700 pound pot. Nice.

About a week later, I make the trip to London for the annual GSOP extravaganza. There were 7 of us from Warwick in the 100 freezeout, and these were: Davey Lu, Myself, Jambon, Flash, JD, Gary Fernandes and Dhruv 'The Kid' Doshi. Expectations were running high. I found myself on a starting table with Gutshot's very own loud-mouthed, super-egoed Ade Bayo. A few hands in, we play the following pot (the blinds are 25/50, stacks are 4k). Ade makes it 400 to go, and I find JJ in late position and pop it up to 1500. Ade flat calls. The flop comes down Axx, and we check it down to the river, when he flips over his TT, and I rake the pot. He then starts mouthing off at me, so I ask him if he was playing his tens for set value, and remind him that he just called off almost half of his stack in the first level. He soon shuts his mouth.

As an aside, Ade Bayo is the loudest, rudest most arrogant 'player' I have ever had the misfortune of playing against. He is a disgrace of a human being, and one of the worst players at Gutshot (which isn't saying much). He has a complete lack of understanding of the most basic fundamentals of the game, and he covers his incompetence by screaming the room down. I understand that the only reason his behaviour is accepted is because he tips so generously. Its nice to see that money can buy someone a pass to perform like a monkey. His dress sense reminds me of a flower-bed, covered in compost, and urinated on by 4 drunks returning home after a piss-up. I only say this because he had a go at my 'lol donkaments T-shirt'. In fact, whilst his chat is irritating, he seems like an affable enough chap.

Anyway, back to the tourney. I'm nickling and diming, dodging and weaving, playing out of my skin. Then I come across a character called Shane at my table. I know I just ripped it into Ade, but my God. I thought I had stumbled into a zoo full of screaming schoolkids. The noise this guy makes is just unbelievable. Anyway, I slowplay my aces against his 96 to double up, and then try and shut out the din as the tournament continues. Suddenly we are down to the last 2 tables, and still in, apart from myself, is Dave Lu, The Dosh, Flash and Gary. A truly great achievement by the Warwick lads. At the break, we strike a few deals (mostly just for rooting purposes/good karma) and then go back to the tables. I am raising lots of pots and taking lotsof blinds, encountering little resistance. In fact, after the tournament, one of the dealers told me that he was counting how many chips I was accumulating.

On the other table, Flash has just moved in and I hear Shane shout out 'I've caught Flash with his pants down'. With ten players to go (one before the final table), someone suggests taking some money off first for tenth. Obviously, I refuse, and before long we are on final. Gary is the first player to drop, and Shane doubles up. He then decided to go on a verbal rampage, swearing and abusing the players at the table. When he tells me that he's going to bust me, I came out with the line 'your ego is writing cheques your ability can't cash'. I call over the TD soon after to complain about the disgraceful hectering from Shane, but he was inept and ambivalent. To be honest, I expected nothing more. Later on, I got another ruling when he tried to encourage Lu to collude, but once again, my best intentions were quickly rebuffed by the TD (who, funnily enough, Flash and I saw pouring money into a slot machine at the Empire Casino a couple of weeks later; enough said). I inevitably bust Shane from the tourny soon after, my AK > JJ, and then he reshoved me with QT against with AQ with no fold equity. There were 4 of us left at this point: me, Lu (who had been marshalling his big stack with aplomb), Dru (who was playing solid as ever) and a random called Mike Marquez (who I had pegged as a good player). Dru ended up coming 4th, and the three of us then chopped it for 2.5k each. After being advised 'not to forget the dealers' by the TD, I could not forget the shambolic way I had been treated, and so left them 20 quid for the privilege of playing poker in a sauna. Thanks to JD for fetching me cups of tea throughout, and Jambon for keeping me amused whilst standing behind, encouraging me to continue with the rape and pillage.

The day after, myself, JD, Jambon, Dave and Flash played some tennis, and then had a meal. Whilst ordering this, I decided to celebrate yesterday's result by ordering a bottle of Champagne. However, the lady behind the counter obviously believed that due to our physical prowess, Lucozade was more appropriate, and thought that I was joking when I asked for a bottle of bubbly. Despite disapproving looks from the queue behind, I eventually convinced her that I was for real (I think the roll of nifties in my hand may have had something to do with this).

I returned the day later for a cricket match back in Devon. I thought this would be a nice, relaxing experience, but once again things came to a head. After rebuffing a little sledging (whilst batting) things got heated between myself and an opposition fielder, who referred to me as a 'fat twat'. I retorted 'Calm down, old boy. You'd better watch your blood pressure or you'll end up having a heart attack', and then he came right up to me, put his face in mine, and said 'I'll see you afterwards'. Needless to say, being the diplomat that I am, things were smoothed over and no bones broken.

A couple of weeks later I travelled up to London to see Flash, and visit The Empire Casino where the WSOPe was taking place. It was good fun to see the big names in the flesh (rather more of it than you may imagine in the case of a certain young female online pro's posterior - clearly mkind is a believer in the philosophy that girls' fat behind make the world go round, and also in the case of a certain young American online superstar, who may or may not have finished second in the Aussie Millions), and we even asked Gus if he fancied taking myself and Flash on, with Patrick, at a game of tennis. Once again, our physically impressive appearances resulted in intimidation, and Gus politely declined, adding that he would be happy to play us at a Backgammon Pairs with Patrick, but he was running low on cash.

Its hard to discuss my emotions on my blog (especially in keeping with the tradition of the stiff British Upper Lip), but I thought I would write this last paragraph anyway as I weep into my keyboard. The day after seeing the pros in action, Flash and I decided to play some online poker. It was the first event of the WCOOP, and expectations were certainly running high. However, whilst most of the night is a blur, I stumbled into bed bewildered, bedraggled and bemoaning my poker misfortunes having been put through the ringer. The poker was very intense, with a lot of tough spots, and I found myself having to fold sets and overpairs, misclicking myself out of 30BB in one tournament, and shoving with 35o and seeing it fail to hold up in another tournament. It was a night to forget. When Flash's Dad asked how the poker had gone the morning after, I was far from the jocular young man I had met on the previous occasion, and as I wiped a tear from my eye, I vomited in the cats litter tray.

I am currently in Leamington visiting Dave and Lauren, and we are going to plant a garden on their balcony tomorrow. At least the view will be slightly better when Lauren looks out of the window in the future. We can currently see The Polish Centre from the window; at least we know where to go if our shoes need a buffering.