Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Summer 2011

Well, I took a bit of a blogging sabbatical, I was actually doing a poker related one over at bfp. Obviously that was shortlived! Poker blogs are pretty much universally as dull as ditch water, so I decided to resurrect this work; which is at least as good as stagnant pond sludge. Am not a great one for recaps but some of the memorable things over last 6 months or so were going skiing for first time, James has promised to organise another trip once he has finished solving the stockmarket/sportsbetting etc.

Have also taken up golf, which is far more frustrating than poker but is a good tonic to hours spent toiling in front of complex game theory equations. Have taken lessons, but after my round today I evidently need some more. Have invested in my own clubs so have been hacking around the fields at home to practice my swing.

Played live a bit, cashed 4th in the Palm Beach £1k for £9300, pretty unfamiliar with mtt poker having become a bit out of touch with the nuances due to primarily playing cash games for last few years. Still I felt pretty comfortable until stacks got shallower, but still didn't fancy doing a deal 4 handed so soldiered on... to 4th! Of course that's not what live poker's about, I've excelled myself donking around in the Torquay casino 1/2 PLO game and managed to rollover the limes from a steadily ebbing G&T tide ( ty new v.efficient waitress) into a centrepeice tumbler to cement my solid TAG image. Wasn't in an ideal state to explain to a Duty Supervisor why a lady was writing me a cheque at the table and she called me "obtuse". Also played UKIPT Newcastle, was good to catch up with Flash and James, sadly Ged's intestines objected to him coming and getting on it with us. Hopefully he'll make it up to Edinburgh.


Am heading back up to Edinburgh at the end of July so will be up there for the Fringe festival/UKIPT if I feel like subjecting myself to more torment. Hopefully the blog will settle down to the more familiar territory of espousing the benefits of Hamilton's breakfasts/Opal Lounge et al.

Oh yeh, and well done to Keys and Rupert for their big scores in Aussie Millions and EPT San Remo respectively.

Saturday, 11 December 2010

FAO Summerlinpkr

Download Circus from here:

http://banner.stanleycasinos.com/cgi-bin/redir.cgi?id=N&member=tpart&profile=tpart

use code tpart2 and i will ship you rooting $

Thursday, 2 December 2010

Socks Away.



The official Christmas giveaway. I soon tired of tidying room, thought I'd banish the boredom with a brief bout of benevolence. How many socks (mostly odd I hope) in this pile? Closest guess wins a bottle of port, bottle of bollinger if you get it on the nose.


Tuesday, 30 November 2010

December

Decided to repeat the Poker Goal element of blog for December. However, I won't set the bar too high; I don't want cards to get in the way of drinking mulled wine and knocking back the port. 30k hands, no Skype, stop checking session results halfway through, 5 videos.

Am off to london next week as I have a seat in the Palm Beach Big Game, which is a £1k tournament in Mayfair that attracted 79 well-heeled punters last month. I've not been to the casino before, it's in a nice area, so I have high hopes of it being a good crowd, will no doubt dip my toe in the cash action after trying to bluff a donkamenteur off top pair. Kev is also coming down to play, so after a Porridge breakfast I'll probably accompany him around London for an early morning jog.


Thursday, 25 November 2010

Poker Goals Revisited


Well the last month hasn't been a total disaster, hence me posting a graph. I even managed to bink a donkament, admittedly there were only 30 runners!

In short I failed to meet any of the goals I set, however, I definitely think the very act of setting them and holding myself accountable has helped improve my results. After a diligent few weeks of 2/4 and 3/6 I decided to mix in some 5/10 and even a spot of 20/40 limit and 2000NL, the conditions justified it, I was confident and playing to the best of my ability. Results have been good, I've played pretty well, although part of the reason for taking a break until Dec1st is I've been playing a bit sloppily the last few days. The volume of hands I played could have been better, but when I was playing 5/10 I was happy just to 2 table and concentrate on not spewing! Reviewing hands with coach never happened, presume he's playing world of warcraft or something as he's been unreachable.

Will spend the rest of the month watching the Ashes and trying to squeeze some more poker videos in (the poker maths ones have been a tough chore). It's pretty cold here and the pump that powers the underfloor heating has packed up so have been spending most of time in sitting room playing by firelight. My sister passed her Chartered Surveying exams so props to her!



Monday, 8 November 2010

Alan's back, back again!

I've spent 30 minutes on the phone to my pals at Halifax today, they were vigilant enough to block my card for a suspicious transaction to pokerstars.fr, not that suspicious in the context that I've use this card to finance casino withdrawals for playing 2/5. I'm glad they've got my back though...

On a brighter note, Alan Partridge is back! He's descended to new lows his "banter" is more cringe-worthy than ever, his clothes even more dated and his hair is well...you have to see it! Alan certainly hasn't become any more politically correct during his hiatus, he manages to crass remarks about the Jonestown massacre and paedophilia before segueing (first time ever used that word) into more inane nonsense. Sadly we don't actually get to see Anthea "The Body" Turner, although on a side note (segue number two) I do have her autograph as she stayed at my Aunt's B&B in the Spring of 1994.



I finished off "Enemy number one" I did enjoy it, although it was a little heavy on racing info for someone with more of a general gambling background. Veitch seemed to have been spurned into action after a local mobster tried to extort money from him and he decided to go to the police, resulting in years spent in hiding, looking over his shoulder whilst bashing the bookies. It was interesting that a great deal of effort went into him actually being able to get action on the races, as money associated with him was blacklisted by bookies, much more of an issue than I imagined it would be. Will move onto Ather's "Gambling: A Story of Triumph and Disaster" now.

Saturday, 6 November 2010

More Apprentice Spoilers

So it seems Lord Sugar reads my blog and actually made a decent decision for once, Paloma had to go. Watching "You're Fired" on BBC2 the past few weeks has been fairly interesting, both Melissa and Paloma came across really rather well, I presume this is because they can conceal their true nature in a 30 minute programme, rather than the original editing of the Apprentice was not as sympathetic as it could have been etc. Perhaps, these high powered business people can not actually cope under pressure as well as they think , it's all very well spouting business jargon until you're blue in the face, however, if you can't behave to even the low standard required to dupe the dopey Alan, perhaps you don't deserve the role.

One of the good new additions has been Dara O'Brien hosting "You're fired". He does a really good job and seems to allow the contestants to project themselves in a good light as well as leading the panellists, all making for an excellent show. I actually picked up his book at Smiths (paying is so overrated) alas, I have yet to start it. I've only just finished Steven Levitt's "SuperFreakonomics", a rather accessible guide to avant-garde analysis on topics such as global warming, prostitution and suicide bombers.

Yet another Amazon package arrived today, I had to replace my second Logitech mouse in under a year after yet again the usb receiver snapped inside my laptop. James recommended I went for a much simpler affair, I'm now rocking an old School Microsoft button clicking enabler. I also ordered some more books (paid for and all) including Mike Atherton's "Gambling: A Story of Triumph & Disaster". I read his autobiography "Opening Up" whilst at school, and seem to remember it was pretty good, so have high hopes of this. Also, added another Derren Brown book to my collection as well as "Enemy Number One". I'm sure he'll be a distant second by the time James decides he'll spend a week or two knocking up a comprehensive sports betting model in between building computers and getting on it.

Monday, 1 November 2010

Power Snooker

I headed up to London on Saturday armed with on a couple of recently acquired paperbacks ( something more like a swordstick would have been more appropriate for wandering the Edgware road on my way to the Vic). I was already at the cutting edge, alongside Jambon, Dave Lu, Ed Rogers and his buddy Dave. We had all made it to the O2 arena to watch "POWERSNOOKER" which is marketed to be snooker's equivalent of 20/20 cricket, with glamorous girls, music, lights, audience participation and a plentiful supply of £4 pints. The standard was a little poorer than I expected, by that I mean standard of dress, Ali Carter wore an absolutely horrific lime green shirt that was an affront to even my colour blind vision.

The "shot clock" meant that players only had 20 seconds to take each stroke, however, they seemed to rush unduly, obviously unfamiliar with this format they seemed to put themselves under pressure to play way faster than they needed to and it must be said that the quality of play did suffer for this. Other facets of the game included the "Powerzone", which was the area behind the baulk line, potting from here would entitle you to double points. One of the 9 reds was also a "Powerball", upon being potted a two minute "Powerplay" would be instigated during which players scored double points. Points were all that counted, each game lasted 30 minutes, points counted, frames didn't.

The atmosphere was pretty good, much to the crowd's amusement referee Michaela Tabb would announce "Powerzone" every time the cueball returned to baulk, it did seem rather funny after a few pints, I think it was the Scottish accent. Audience participation amounted to cries of "Powerzone", mocking Jimmy White's errors, and a rather borderline cry of "You can do it" in a Chinese accent with definite overtones of Cockney to inspire Ding, he also was on the receiving end of a few Ding-Dong type puns. Unfortunately I had to leave early as the last train back to safety of Devon departed at 8pm, alas it was not to be thanks to my inept taxi driver. I sought refuge at the Vic, I was thrilled to learn that my allnighter was to be extended by an extra hour thanks to the changing of the clocks. Once I finally boarded the train at Paddington and rested my weary limbs I was trodden on twice by the "Professor" who had taken the seat opposite me on the table, she failed to apologise either time.

Was good to see Jambon and Dave again, the relaxed atmosphere meant it was possible to chat during the play. We also had dinner at Gaucho which was was rather good, I've only eaten at one once before and that was with James in Amsterdam. Oh, and Ronnie won btw.




Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Camerownage!

Ed Miliband seems like he'll be a good challenge for Cameron. Particularly enjoyed this afternoon's exchange, EM threw some good jabs looking to expose splits in the coalition before landing a final blow at Clegg, mocking him for his smoking ( a reference to a recent "Desert Island Discs in which Clegg named a stash of ciggies as his luxury item.) However, Cameron had the benefit of being able to have the last word and crushed Miliband. Never mind trying to rid Parliament of "Punch & Judy politics" it's entertaining stuff, I bet it's great fun sat alongside your mates cheering and jeering. Watch from about 4.20 if you don't fancy the whole thing.


I wonder who will disgrace themselves on the apprentice tonight...

Sunday, 24 October 2010

Poker Goals

Decided I want to be playing 5/10 more regularly. I think atm I'm not playing my best there so have implemented a plan:

Poker Goals

I would like to compete with confidence @ 1knl on a regular basis.

In order to build this confidence I intend to prepare properly. I shall first watch and take notes on all eight episodes of “Mathematics of NLHE” before then completing “Professor Plotkin.” These videos will help improve my theoretical knowledge in situations. I shall also continue watching other videos, at least 4 game time type videos before moving up.

In addition to this video preparation I shall only play 5/10 when I have satisfied the video requirements, played a minimum 50k of hands @ 2/4 and 3/6, I shall achieve this by Dec1st. I shall avoid using any msn/skype whilst gaming- to be achieved by ensuring is not open when I start a session. I shall review, hands flagged in previous days play on a daily basis before starting play. I should post at least 10 hands on various forums before any 5/10. I will also revitalise btt forum. Trouble hands can be reviewed with coach.

I shall also have analysed the stats of at least 10 regular players and broken down their game and identified strategies to exploit them. In addition to this having a roll of $X+ before playing any 5/10 will bolster my confidence.


I know no-one signed up to read this drivel, infact no-one signed up at all, but were coerced into reading the blog! It's not a poker blog, more a place to have a good moan, Rupert linked me to this anonymous detractor of The Gutshot. I have no idea who wrote it, however, he loves a good moan, so it did amuse me. Seasoned vets may remember some of the posts I made in my youth regarding the place! This chap writes really well and with a great deal of passion!

http://www.pokerbastard.blogspot.com/



Saturday, 23 October 2010

Egregious

Stumbled across this word when reading the DC forums, if only I'd known it earlier in the week...It really would have been perfect for describing Paloma:

egregious formal adj outrageous; shockingly bad. egregiously adverb. egregiousnessnoun.
ETYMOLOGY: 16c: from Latin egregius standing out from the herd, from e out of + grex, gregisherd.

Shout out to Chamber online!

Friday, 22 October 2010

Not another link!

It's grim up north, spare a though for poor old James:

However, steps are being taken to improve matters somewhat.

Thursday, 21 October 2010

Paloma/ HIGNFY

I remember riling up Jambon back in my university days by omitting to post "APPRENTICE SPOILERS WITHIN".

I was thoroughly appalled but not all together surprised by Lord Sugar's (Sugar from here on in as there's no love lost) complete ignorance in the boardroom this week. It was perfectly obvious that even if Shibby did lack "business acumen", the two alongside him were quite patently completely unemployable, would be completely incompatible with his organisation and are undeserving of any post. Sugar should have thrown Paloma out when she referred to Shibby as " a joke" , before she had the chance to tell barefaced lies, denying that she stabbed the workshy Sandeesh in the back by discsussing her lack of activity with the rest of the team. Initially I presumed the decision was due to Sugar's incompetance at evaluating the contestants, however, in retrospect the evil Paloma did pull the wool over his eyes with her tirade of lies and personal abuse. I say bring back Margaret, Paloma's diabolical personality traits would have been spotted immediately by her. Karen's probably too used to dealing with footballers etc. to notice!

There seems to be a bit of a trend of contestants with any kind of moral compass falling by the wayside. Sugar was not even astute enough to avoid representing himself and company in a poor light by questioning the need for Shibby to pay compensation to the hotel's chef for failing to fulfill the order. No doubt Amstrad will lose a bit more credibility!

For supposedly bright candidates, the contestants are a complete shambles. Melissa, captained team Synergy this week. In spite of her ineptitude they managed a victory, the argument she had with Alex over GCSE results was particularly amusing. She's another one I'd lay super long odds on ever getting the job.

I've always considered Janet Street Porter to be highly irritating. However, I must say I was pleasantly surprised by her appearance on this weeks HIGNFY, her voice does not seem quite as piercingly shrill as before, perhaps I've aged and my eardrums are no longer subjected to the highest frequency squawks. Reginald D Hunter was a little quiet I felt, perhaps he tired himself out in Edinburgh.

I renewed my deucescracked membership today, so will probably make a token effort at watching a few videos in the dead time before the next episode of "World's Strictest Parents".


Congratulations to Rupert who came second in Sunday's FTP $640 for a whopping $142k. He also nearly made the final table of the Poikerstars million but was chewed up and spat out by Andrew Litchenberger. For those of you not too au fait with online poker, that was an amusing pun pivoting on Andrew's online moniker being : "Lucky Chewy"

Saturday, 16 October 2010

Ding Ding.

So far have spent the weekend playing a tonne of poker, which has gone rather well. The games have been pretty good and I've been listening to the Annie Mac shows on Iplayer, as well as a great Harry Hill interview on the Scott Mill's show:


Mongy won a tournament last night, no congratulations for that, but I will, however, tip my cap to you for this link:

Thursday, 14 October 2010

Encore

I felt obligated to update the blog before the mosquito induced scarring covering my ankles vanishes altoghether. Once Mr Ducharme ( a whole 8 months more mature than at our last meeting) made his way to the villa, the holiday was ready to begin in full swing.

Scott had a couple of memorable celebrations throughout the course of the month, the first of the double fistpumps occured after dinner in Ville franche. George missed a rather nondescript "blackball, corner pocket" shot which Rupert had a tidy wager riding upon, however, I'm sure he could appreciate the pleasure Mongy derived from this as he jubilantly waved his cue about, Rupert was later heard to say the joy on Scott's face was worth more to him than the money. After one sherbert too many, George was concerned that missing the black could be a metaphor for the rest of his life, the poor lad was worried about "bottling" the high pressure situations!

After a few days of settling in, a fellow Devonian came out to join us in the form of my schoolmate David. Despite now living in Geneva, David has retained a reassuring solid condascending stance on Europeans. We undertook some day trips whilst he was staying with us, including checking out the Villa Ephrussi de Rothschild. Strolling around the grounds was great, there were nine different themed gardens, all with their different nuances, the Provencal garden was particularly impressive. The afternoon was rounded off with a Kir Royale, which incidentally is the favourite drink of Torquay Casino's Bob.




After a few days David had picked up the lingo, (he's pretty sick like that) and was at ease with Ducharme wearing pyjamas in public, so was ready to hit Jimmy*z with us. Jimmy*z didn't disappoint, this institution has been "setting fire to the Riviera" for 30 years, I was distinctly aware that there seemed to be a lot more "brass" there this year, perhaps they were more concentrated with it being more off-season. Unperturbed, we soldiered on, making our way through the vodka and fresh apple whilst Rupert and David did their bit to promote Anglo-Russian relations. We made 3 Jimmy*z trips in total, they all seem to have blurred into one haze of cigarette smoke, vodka, and:


I do however, have distinct memories of everyone shining individually, the most incandescent example was Sweir. Upon leaving, Callum was trying to coax a rather dazed Ducharme into his car, Sam was quick to make the most of this opportunity and quickly donned the high visibility jacket that French law dictates should be in the back of every car. Whilst in Hong kong he sadly never made it into the Dragon Guard's van, he was able to sneak into Callum's Corsa and pretend to drive. The "bouncers", inverted commas because really I have no idea what you have to do to be asked to leave, perhaps ordering an alcopop or something, looked on this with great mirth, this was not, however, shared by Callum, who after he'd removed Steve's socks, raced around to retrieve his car keys.

I enjoyed a few evening at Nice casino, accompanied by Steve and Sam on different occassions. The 5/5 game there was really fun, and full of Russians, one blonde, who wore really low cut tops and translated to her husband who spoke no French or English, this made things difficult, as when the inevitable argument about who has to show hand first broke out he had to resort to shouting at the top of his voice in Russian. He was a good lad though, I saw him in Jimmy*z and he recommended we check out Nikki Beach, which hopefully we will in future. The floorman was a thoroughly nice guy, the whole experience of playing live there was thoroughly enjoyable. The game was soft, the atmosphere congenial, the rake exorbitant and the G&T's free.

>

I've left it a bit too long to feel like writing a more thorough report, but suffice to say the month flew by and thanks to Rupert for his organisational endeavours.







Saturday, 9 October 2010

Rupert Guest Blog

In typical Warwick fashion my blog is temporarily redundant since I can't login. No doubt this new wave of graduate bloggers has made them realise they should go back to charging for WGA membership.

Anyway, it's been bloody ages since I last blogged - partly because I was in France for a month, but mostly because i've been incredibly lazy.

France was its wonderful self with a glorious month of sun, Jimmy*z and downswinging. When all was said and done, I was relatively poor compared to the start of the holiday which made me very sad.

Nevertheless, since getting home I haven't let being drastically underrolled from stopping me playing an absurd volume of poker. It wouldn't be time for me to blog unless I won a tournament recently so you should note that after my 4th place in a $75, 1st in a $20r and 3rd in a $109 I am nothing less than a bona fide tournament genius. It wouldn't be bragging unless I mentioned that i'm up a bag at cash since getting home too.

It's all becoming a bit too much. After I got home I found myself with a delightful cold, sore throat, cough, sneezing fits, swollen tongue (????) all wrapped up in a two word diagnosis the doctor informs is as a "throat infection". My old mate from GCSE History Flemming is here to help me out though and i've been popping 8 penicillins a day like a recovering junkie. With great success too I may add, since I am practically cured and can now speak without sounding like a complete spastic.

As Tommo has granted me the privelege of blogging a guest post (due to aforementioned reasons) i'm humouring him at the possibility of moving up to Edinburgh with him. Availability of premises seem largely limited at the moment, mostly by not having an HMO license which apparently is the be all and end all these days when letting an apartment. Still, gives me something else to refresh in the morning.

Much to his disappointment, i'm going to allow Tommo to complete the France trip report because he's doing a fantastic job, and also I can't be arsed.

Rupert

Sunday, 3 October 2010

Les Vacances- Part I

My adventure began with a trip up to Norwich for the annual Alan Partridge Convention, handily enough it was held at the airport hotel, which made it pretty convenient for Rupert to collect me and the break to begin. Despite getting off to a somewhat melancholic start (the Alan Partridge tie and blazer badge packs sold out before I could get one) Bury St. Edmunds proved the perfect tonic. Home to notables such as Peter Charalmbos, James Keys and Rupert, it's a picturesque English market town that has a solid reputation for producing beer, housing the Greene King brewery. We ambled about the town, managed to squeeze in a pint in "The Nutshell" reputedly Britain's smallest pub:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nutshell

Buoyed up with Dutch courage I managed to negotiate a discount on a blue pinstriped jacket I'd seen earlier in the day. The previous tailor had stated he may be able to throw in a pair of socks for free, however, I managed to cajoule the manager into knocking off a few guineas. I stayed the night at Rupert's house before we left and kept an eye on Koopa, Rupert has a tendency to neglect him, he clearly needs handling every hour to check whether he is asleep etc...

After we finally managed to overtake mongy, who, was once again plodding along in the middle lane, we arrived first at the port but were soon met by the Brighton Boys, Scott and Callum. After a fairly uneventful crossing, we arranged to meet at the Chateau which we were staying at to break our journey up. Rupert and I managed to circumvent the debris littering the road, alas George was not so fortunate, they endured a few hours of garage related pigeon english as they decided how best to replace two of G's wheels. Meanwhile, Rupert and I kicked back with a few G&T's at the Chateau, rowed around the moat before picking up a couple of cases of champage from the production outlet nearby. The chap who gave the tour of the premises and explained the manufacturing process did so entirely in French, however, Rupert and I purloined an English middle aged balla who was on his way back to St Tropez with his son to translate for us. Picked up a couple of cases and a Magnum.

When the boys arrived we all tucked into the restaurant’s tasting Menu which was very good. We also got involved with some vintage port which went down rather better than out request for Port Salut cheese, the waiter huffily informed us that this was “Supermarket cheese” and stormed off to go and peel some more onions. We set off for Villefranche the following morning in jolly spirits.

Once again the tortoise triumphed, with Rupert’s mighty Almera beating the Scooby to the finishing line. We were greeted by the housekeepers, Elektra and her husband Victor. What an eccentric couple they were, well we’ve not had our deposit back yet, and after last years farce I’d better move swiftly on before I tell of racist jibes, violent outbursts, death threats etc.

The Villa itself comprised of two self contained unit. Initially I thought that this would lead to a rather more segregated affair than last year, however, this didn’t really prove to be the case as the group was more divided upon ideological principles, such as how awful “Two jacks in the hole” is, rather than by domestic constraints. We all set up our computers downstairs in the living room eager to shoot for loot for the coming month. We were soon joined by Steven, regular readers may recall him from my Australian tales.

To be continued...

Sunday, 19 September 2010

Hellocanuhearme

Will be bashing out a blog soon, in the meantime I'd recommend you check out James's page here:


If he learns capital letters, he might just be the best...

Thursday, 2 September 2010

September

New month, flying up to meet Rupert later and will be on way to the Villa in south of France via a jaunt around Champagne tomorrow. Quite a lot to endure really, will be rely on Roy Jones Jnr to keep me motivated to get some hands in.

Tuesday, 31 August 2010

Some change would do me good.


I've always loved saving up coins ever since being a child. I cracked into my treasure chest a while ago, I started the task of counting up the loot recently ( I thought I'd lost my wallet, alas it was hiding under my monte trousers), I'll probably just scramble it all up and superglue the box shut again for a few years or until I have enough to afford to buy a Hamilton's breakfast for every day of the year.



I didn't mention in my last blog one of the most surreal experiences I've ever had. On the way back from a cheeky pint at the "St Vincent" a tramp approached me and asked me to help him fetch a cushion from the bin, "it's amazing what some people throw away". In return for my assistance he treated me to a 15 minute discourse on the importance of different dietary supplements. He had an article published in "The Scotsman" in 1988 apparently. Drinking and smoking is a no no, cleanse your system with some seaweed and be sure to take regular supplemets of korean ginseng. My offer of a bottle of tequila was given short shrift, Organic Jim had to see his acupuncturist tomorrow... Fish head soup was the order of the day. I gave him a score, all the unopened pokerstars clothing from Monaco, Rupert's sleeping bag, and one of the numerous pillows that littered my room. He seemed especially pleased with the stars Hoodie. As I bid him adieu, he gave me his email address, I expected Dom Jolly to roll around the corner.